IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

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It is believed focusing on a single career is out of date. These days, the trend is toward having several occupations that can make a living from it and
also
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, continuous education till the end.
This
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 essay will consider the benefits that several occupations bring. money is able to buy material items which can create happiness. With extending financial challenges and the tendency of individuals to have a luxury life, having several streams of income would be a logical step.
For example
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, in the contemporary century,
due to
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 the cost of childcare and the education system, it seems to be vital to create different ways to generate income for couples who decide to have children.
As a result
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, affording a balanced lifestyle and achieving better facilities in life might be linked to having more than a single career. With regards to an up-to-date world and allowing most people to access information, the importance of following new data would be undeniable. to illustrate, The need to keep updated with the current and common information about the economy, technology, and science would be necessary, as they change and develop rapidly in
this
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 modern world.
For instance
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, employees who work in the technology sector should update themselves with software antivirus updates since many new viruses are threatening the network.
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, individuals who do not follow updated information could face difficulties. In conclusion, both having multiple careers and continuing education could have effects on people's lives, and it would involve many aspects of society's lives,
such
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 as financial and scientific.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed. Ensure a clear structure with well-organized paragraphs and logical transitions.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the prompt, and the ideas are not completely developed. Include a thorough exploration of the topic, support ideas with details, and provide a clear position.
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