IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier. What extend do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
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It is often believed by few specialists that when a nation is already economically well to do, another extra rise in budgetary does not make individuals rejuvenate. I strongly disagree that investing plethora of a
money
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 in a state is beneficial it provides facilities regarding health as well as in the
education
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 sector.
However
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, I
also
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 assume it has a deleterious impact on the people , they will commence involved in the undesired path.
To Begin
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 with, It considers that spending
money
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 on the territory is merit for the masses because ,with the assistance of
this
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money
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 individual
money
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 individuals can get a proper facility in the medical field, authorities are capable to open a hospital in every place, that leads to saving the life of injuries human beings.
Moreover
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, utilizing funds
also
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 aids to obtain a perfect
education
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 system for scholars, which leads to boost up the condition of the Kingdom.
For example
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, In ,India the data which was revealed in 2010 that had showed only 50% of pupils were engaged in
education
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. While, In 2018 about 70 per cent of mentors are involved in
education
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 due to, the investment of law Maker.
Consequently
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, in the recent ,period the condition of the academy has improved and most of the students are getting knowledge.
Furthermore
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, sometimes it is detrimental to invest
money
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 in the State, which leads the public to engage in gambling and crime to gain
money
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 because the price of everything has grown, and folks faced trouble managing their family expenditure.
For instance
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, in ,France most of the citizens are enthusiastic about kidnapping owing to, the rise in the budget.
Hence
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, the crime rate has climbed. In conclusion, while I strongly concur with utilizing
money
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 in sovereign make multitude over the moon, that provides every crucial thing easily to them.
In contrast
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, I
also
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 consider that it may have a terrible effect because it leads the masses to the wrong path.
Submitted by bkgupta4007 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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