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Band 4

In the 21st century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?.

#st #century #contact #parts #world #air #travel #telecommunications #outweigh
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In the current century,
communication
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 around the
world
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 has developed quickly because of telecommunications and air
travel
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.
Although
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 it is easier to
spread
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diseases
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, I believe that the advantages outnumber the disadvantages because
people
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 are easily connected
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 connect easily with each other. The main disadvantage of the rapid
development
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 of
communication
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 around the
world
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 because of air
travel
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 and telecommunications is that
diseases
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 can
spread
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 easily.
That is
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 to say that nowadays, it is much easier to
travel
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 abroad, and
that is
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 why a lot of
people
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travel
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 to foreign countries, but, if they have
diseases
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, they can be quickly transmitted.
For example
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, Covid-19 started in Wuhan, China, and just one week later, it had
spread
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 globally
due to
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 air
travel
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.
However
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, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because many
people
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 are vaccinated, and the
spread
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 of
diseases
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 can be
stop
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stopped. The main advantage of the fast
development
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 of
communication
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 in the
world
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due to
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 telecommunications is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
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 can connect
communicate
Correct word choice
and communicate
show examples
people
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 with each other rapidly.
This
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 is because
through
Add the comma(s)
, through
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phone phones or
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
computer computers,
people
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 from different parts of the
world
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 can connect immediately with each other by texting or by making video calls.
For example
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, there are a lot of applications now,
such
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 as WhatsApp or Zoom, that allow
people
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 to talk and see each other no matter how far apart they are.
Therefore
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, I believe that the advantages of the quick
development
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 of contact
rapid
Correct word choice
and rapid
show examples
development
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 of
communication
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 between
people
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 outnumber the drawbacks because they can communicate more easily with each other. In conclusion,
although
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 the quick
development
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 of
communication
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 between
people
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 has developed quickly in the 21st century because
this
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 can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
diseases
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 to be easily
spread
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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages because
people
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 can connect quickly with each other
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by Nitintyagi2209 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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