IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some say that the internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another.

#say #internet #world #people
Nowadays, it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
absolute that the
internet
 has become an indispensable tool. Certainly, the
internet
 is the fastest and the most important technology
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
discovered in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history. Some argued,
this
Correct word choice
that this
show examples
 technology has shortened the communications between one another and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 made the
world
 smaller. I strongly believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication a lot easier and much more affordable.
Firstly
, the
internet
 revolution almost accessed
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everyone’s life ultimately. It is nearly impossible to find one
that
is not affect
Change the verb form
is not affected
show examples
 by
this
 technology. Having to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
friends or family on the other side of the
world
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a single click was one day unimaginable. Nowadays,
for example
, it is a piece of cake to reach
Change preposition
out to
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anyone formally or informally at any time via multiple mediums
such
 as text, video, voice note or call
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or even live meetings. The information technologies “IT” companies have been providing
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
options and solutions to make everyone connected
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the best convenient way.
Furthermore
, the
internet
 has not only artificially connected
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families and friends. Yet, it supports individuals for medical consultations, businesses, and studies. Currently, online degrees are provided and recognized by
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
world
 universities. What only require is just to
login
Correct your spelling
log in
show examples
 without leaving your home or
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 into the course physically. To illustrate, during
COVID 19
Add a hyphen
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic, the whole
world
 was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social distanced but thoughtfully connected and united to pass that stage. That would never be possible without the
internet
. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, the pandemic is over. In conclusion, the distance between the top point in
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
 and the
last
 point in
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
 can no longer be far when there is
internet
Add an article
an internet
show examples
 connection. Everyone’s can get very close, and attached to a beloved, family or friends smoothly.
Thus
, I strongly stand with the idea that the
internet
 has
shorten
Change the verb form
shortened
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distance and made the
world
 closer.
Submitted by mahmood.farhan13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant communication
  • geographical barriers
  • real-time video conferencing
  • physical distance
  • face-to-face interactions
  • online communities
  • forums
  • shared interests
  • sense of belonging
  • language translation tools
  • communication gaps
  • international communication
  • social media platforms
  • networking sites
  • personal relationships
  • workplace communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: