IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many developed counties now have large numbers of people over the age 65 . What problems might this cause ? . How can the problems be solved

It has been
a
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apply
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recent concern about the number of increasing senior citizens in developed
countries
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 .
This
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 may increase the workload on
governments
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 in the
countries
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 and the solution lies in allowing more easy immigration from other
countries
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 .
Firstly
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 ,
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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 number of old aged
people
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 adds to the burden on the government .
For instance
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, bureaucrats need to pay for the medical expenses ,
pensions
Correct word choice
and pensions
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for
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of
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 the citizens .
Additionally
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 ,
less
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fewer
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 youngsters
implies
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imply
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less
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fewer
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 taxes
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paid
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payed
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paid
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 to the government. So eventually it is quite hard for the ruling
people
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 to effectively take care of their citizens . Ideally
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,
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solution may lie in
governments
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 allowing easy immigration policies for individuals to settle in
the
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their
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 respective
countries
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 .
For example
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 , students can be permitted to study ,
who
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and
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then
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 may plan to be
a
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apply
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permanent
resident
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residents
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 of that country .
Governments
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 can
also
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 plan some nice strategies to attract
people
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 from other
countries
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 . So to conclude ,
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Governments
Correct article usage
the Governments
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 of developed
countries
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 can play an important role in inviting
people
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 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 them feel
like
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at
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 home .
This
Linking Words
 will help them to not get loaded with
extra
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the extra
an extra
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 burden of paying for the old homies .

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shift
  • ageing population
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • social security systems
  • economic dependency ratio
  • workforce participation
  • geriatric care
  • medical expenditure
  • pension sustainability
  • intergenerational support
  • elderly-friendly urban planning
  • longevity
  • age-related ailments
  • public health strategy
  • community engagement programs
What to do next:
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