IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many famous sports players advertise sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#sports #players #products #trend
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Nowadays it is true that the number of
sports
Use synonyms
 teams, clubs and organisations
fans are
Verb problem
is
show examples
 growing every day. They become more popular. And
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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 most of them advertise
sports
Use synonyms
 products
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their social networking sites. From
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 personal point of view, I reckon that advertising output
such
Linking Words
 celebrities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 right, for various reasons, but
overall
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 is the major convenience factor and I believe that the benefits of doing so far outweigh any disadvantages involved. One of the main positive
sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
show examples
 is introducing
people
Use synonyms
 to
sports
Use synonyms
though
Correct your spelling
through
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 their idols.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 amount of
people
Use synonyms
 who take an interest in training significantly decreased. But it can be fixed thanks to the well-known
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 who advertise
sports
Use synonyms
 foods. A good example
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is that
people
Use synonyms
 follow their idols through the application and in their stories they notice how
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
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 train or advise some cool product that will assist the body.
Admirer
Fix the agreement mistake
Admirers
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 would like to be like them.
Hence
Linking Words
, in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
run,
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 interest in exercising will wake up and even can start doing
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, not all the bloggers are honest. Many of them may advertise substandard productions because of the money.
People
Use synonyms
 believe in it and start using
without
Correct pronoun usage
it without
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 knowing the destination and something bad can happen.
For instance
Linking Words
 person see the produce which counsel his favourite sport team. And he purchased it without knowing any information about
this
Linking Words
 product. Perhaps he is allergic to
this
Linking Words
 thing or should not drink it. And
as a result
Linking Words
, he can suffer or even get sick. In conclusion,
personally
Add a comma
personally,
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 I believe the benefits of advertising
sports
Use synonyms
 products
far
Add a missing verb
are far
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 greater than any drawbacks.
Submitted by olga.sivtsova79 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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