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Band 7.5

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to keep themselves occupied on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
Nowadays,there are two views. many
people
 believe they should encourage their
children
 for doing their
work
 in the form of groups in their leisure time. while others think their
children
 should do their
work
 on their own. I firmly agree with the opinion related to part one. There are many perfect aspects of the behaviour of
children
 when they do their
work
 with a team.
firstly
, they can promote themselves for situations in life that they need to decide.
this
 behaviour will help them in the future for using other
people
's opinions in their life.
furthermore
, they can solve many of their problems and can decrease the risk of doing much
work
 that they do not have any experience with,
for example
, I usually use other
people
's ideas, because my school reared me and learned to me for using teamwork in order to choose the best way in my life.
secondly
, when
children
 are in a group they do not want to be alone and
this
 is very good for their health.
for instance
, science could prove it. the
children
 who
work
 in a team have stress very lower in comparison to
children
 who do their
work
 by themselves.
In contrast
, when
children
 do their
work
 by themselves, they become independent
people
 and
this
 can be good for them
also
 they can manage different kinds of responsibility in their future,
such
 as, as we can see many popular companies managers being alone in their childhood . In conclusion, I agree with part one and I believe that parents should create a space for their
children
 in order they do many activities with their friends and
this
 will lead to learning
work
 in the form of a team and they can have good health.
Submitted by mail.100jad on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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