To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

In
Change preposition
This
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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days
Change to a genitive case
day's
show examples
many
people
believes
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believe
show examples
that introducing edible
insects
in
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into
show examples
human diets would help the shortage of food and support the growing population while other
people
think it may damage
natures
Fix the agreement mistake
nature
show examples
and it is unhealthy
This
assay will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
why implementing
insects
in
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into
show examples
people
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people's
show examples
diets could be damaging
for
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to
show examples
earth
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earth's
show examples
biodiversity. There are many reasons why
people
think that there are some advantages including
insects
in meals
Firstly
is a common
opinionthat
Correct your spelling
opinion that
the introduction of animals
such
like
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as
show examples
ants and beetles will help reduce deforestation,
for example
avoiding
to create
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creating
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new
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of new
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land fields.
Secondly
,
people
could have more options for nutrition
instead
of depending on one type,
for
instance
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,instance
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beef which gives just vitamins B.
Thirdly
, in Thailand, in many rural areas
insects
are already part of everyday diet. On the other side, introducing a similar Thai alimentation worldwide may have a negative impact on the earth's ecosystem for various reasons.
To begin
with, birds and chickens may become extinct as birds' nourishment is
insects
.
In addition
, the constant increase of
people
on the planet who tries to satisfy human needs will be a huge drawback for not only birds but for every other living
things
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thing
show examples
, who may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not have enough food to survive.
Moreover
, the body system is not made
for
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to
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digest
this
kind of food
in
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,in
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fact,
research
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the research
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found
in
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at
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university
Correct article usage
the university
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of Cambridge
explain
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explains
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that some
insects
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insect's
insects'
show examples
fluids are poison
for
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to
show examples
Correct article usage
the human’s
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human’s
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human
show examples
liver. In conclusion, despite the majority of
people
agreeing to adopt a new alimental regime
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be beneficial for
reduce
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reducing
show examples
pollution due
deforestation
Change preposition
to deforestation
show examples
,
give
Correct word choice
and give
show examples
an alternative to
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
protein source, the research proves that it can cause more important damage to our ecosystems.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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