IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

#food #support #population #country #insects #source #people #nature
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In
Change preposition
This
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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days
Change to a genitive case
day's
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 many
people
Use synonyms
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that introducing edible
insects
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 human diets would help the shortage of food and support the growing population while other
people
Use synonyms
 think it may damage
natures
Fix the agreement mistake
nature
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 and it is unhealthy
This
Linking Words
 assay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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why implementing
insects
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 diets could be damaging
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
earth
Change noun form
earth's
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 biodiversity. There are many reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 think that there are some advantages including
insects
Use synonyms
 in meals
Firstly
Linking Words
 is a common
opinionthat
Correct your spelling
opinion that
 the introduction of animals
such
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
as
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 ants and beetles will help reduce deforestation,
for example
Linking Words
 avoiding
to create
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creating
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new
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of new
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 land fields.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could have more options for nutrition
instead
Linking Words
 of depending on one type,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 beef which gives just vitamins B.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, in Thailand, in many rural areas
insects
Use synonyms
 are already part of everyday diet. On the other side, introducing a similar Thai alimentation worldwide may have a negative impact on the earth's ecosystem for various reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, birds and chickens may become extinct as birds' nourishment is
insects
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the constant increase of
people
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 on the planet who tries to satisfy human needs will be a huge drawback for not only birds but for every other living
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
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, who may
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not have enough food to survive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the body system is not made
for
Change preposition
to
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 digest
this
Linking Words
 kind of food
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 fact,
research
Add an article
the research
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 found
in
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at
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university
Correct article usage
the university
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 of Cambridge
explain
Change the verb form
explains
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 that some
Use synonyms
insects
Change noun form
insect's
insects'
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 fluids are poison
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the human’s
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 liver. In conclusion, despite the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 agreeing to adopt a new alimental regime
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be beneficial for
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
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 pollution due
deforestation
Change preposition
to deforestation
show examples
,
give
Correct word choice
and give
show examples
 an alternative to
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 protein source, the research proves that it can cause more important damage to our ecosystems.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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