IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#technology #children
Nowadays, there are many people who claim that the
creativity
 of
children
 has been reduced by the
effects
 of
technology
.
Although
 there are many negative reflections of
technology
 on
children
such
 as lack of
inter-personal
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
show examples
 communication, ı do believe that the young
generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a powerful imagination which can not be discovered yet.
Firstly
, and foremost,
technology
 has had a consistent pace over the centuries.
Furthermore
, we are all
children
 of the past and if the
effects
 of
technology
 had been devastating as they thought, today we would not able to invent new devices or create art content.
Secondly
, youngsters have great inspiration from the
technology
 and the opportunities which are given by the internet.
As a result
, A 6 years old program developer who is highly talented and fed by
technology
, can be seen today and
this
 child can create an application which is beyond our imagination.
However
, the undeniable
effects
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 keep worrying parents. Strong
illusinative
Correct your spelling
illuminative
illumination
 video content
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more powerful on
children
,
therefore
 we can observe
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 which could watch television for over 3 hours without a break.
Furthermore
, video games, computer games and mobile phones attract the young
generation
 more than real life. These things usually result in communication problems and society
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 started to think that our future will be futile. In my opinion, even though
children
 seem too attached to video content, it will give them a different kind of
creativity
 which will bring us our future. To sum up, It is true that the
creativity
 of the young
generation
 is not visible as it was before, ı believe that with the
effects
 of
technology
 on
this
generation
, their
creativity
 wont
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 less than before.
Submitted by crantic66 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: