IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #technology
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In recent years, several people
agure
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agree
argue
 that state-of-the-art
technology
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Correct your spelling
is
iss
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is
 one of the leading
cause
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causes
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off
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of
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 the rapid decline
off
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of
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 the lawlessness
rate
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.
Advandced
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Advanced
technology
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 can
also
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 help prevent and solve the
crime
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rate
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.I agree with the issue commented above.
Thiss
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This
 essay
complain
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complains
show examples
 about them. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why advanced
technology
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 can help dramatically reduce the
crime
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rate
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.
Firstly
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, it helps the security guards to control the dangerous criminals at the
prison
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. Because, with widespread managers of advanced equipment,
instead
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 of managers of
prison
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 many hours visiting each room's
prison
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 to check situation
crime
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, they can now sit glutted to the camera screen and still know the sudden situation at the
prison
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 helped them save their time steer situation
at
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in
show examples
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prison
Add an article
the prison
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 while reducing the
crime
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rate
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 outside.
Secondly
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,
development
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the development
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 of modern tools
which
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apply
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help
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helps
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 citizens to be
well- informed
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well-informed
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 about
harmful
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the harmful
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 effects of social evils or negative deeps
of
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on
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 people that cost them a lot. So, when they are self-aware of them, the natural
crime
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rate
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 will drop slightly without any measure.
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On
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One
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On
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 the other hand, advanced equipment can help government solve major crimes like
:
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apply
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muderers
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murderers
murderer
,
rapist
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rapists
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 or
murder
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murderers
show examples
.
For example
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, murderers
sentenced
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are sentenced
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 to death by pointing a gun at them, but thanks to modern tools, it is possible for the government to find another way to execute the death sentence without the need
serious
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for serious
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 measures fear like that.
This
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 punishes the bad guys and sets an example for those who intend to do wrong things.
In addition
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, advanced
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 make it easier for governments to create new laws to prevent illegal activities
such
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 as drug trafficking, human trafficking and so on. Because when there is a law, they will not dare to do it and if there is a punishment, they will be afraid. In conclusion, it can be easily recorded that there
ara
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are
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 a row of the reasons why modern
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technology
tecgnology
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technology
 not only
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
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 the
crime
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rate
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 but
also
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helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
Correct your spelling
to
tto
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to
 prevent and avoid serious criminals.
Therefore
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 need to
having
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have
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 reasonable policies to
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 advanced
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance systems
  • CCTV cameras
  • forensic technology
  • crime scene analysis
  • conviction rates
  • data analytics
  • predictive policing
  • high-risk areas
  • cybersecurity measures
  • cybercrime
  • sensitive information
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • emergencies
  • law enforcement response
What to do next:
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