Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

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In certain sectors,

workers

Use synonyms

put a lot of effort to improve countries' economies and protecting people.

Therefore

Linking Words

some suggest that the

retirement

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age should differ according to a person`s job type. In my perspective, I totally agree with the above statement because it is important for the

government

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to identify difficulty levels, stress levels and how many sacrifices some

workers

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make in order to do their duties to the country. Some

workers

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push their limits in order to do their job.

Firstly

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, We could see some jobs where you have to use a lot of physical strength in order to complete their day-to-day tasks. Constructors,

for example

Linking Words

their

Add a missing verb

have their

show examples

core job

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

carry heavy materials from one place to another.

Secondly

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, we could see that in certain jobs you have to put yourself at risk where there is a possibility of losing your life as well.

For example

Linking Words

, we could see military personnel take responsibility for protecting their country and people by putting their life at a risk.

Therefore

Linking Words

it is important for the

government

Use synonyms

to provide early

retirement

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age and provide their pension earlier. Even if the

government

Use synonyms

wants to set different

retirement

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ages, it will be quite challenging. Especially to educate everyone on why certain jobs have an early

retirement

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age.

Workers

Use synonyms

from other sectors might feel that the

government

Use synonyms

does not appreciate their contribution to the economy.

This

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could demotivate many people and bring down their productivity level as well. In conclusion,

although

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it is a tough decision to make, it is important for the

government

Use synonyms

to value certain sectors which help to boost the country's economy and safety than the other. In my opinion, it is important for the

government

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to educate everyone with statistics so everyone could get a clear idea of why the

government

Use synonyms

came up with

such

Linking Words

a decision.

Submitted by migara.dak on Wed Sep 14 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?