You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements.

#college #cafeteria #lunchtime #improvements

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In my opinion, due to social responsibilities, everyone and everything have to do something.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

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I disagree with the statement

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that private

companies

Use synonyms

should supply

sports

Use synonyms

facilities.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the private sector has enough economical pressure on them. They pay enough tax for their activities

therefore

Linking Words

if someone should create some kind of facility for local communities, it must be done by government and state organizations.

For instance

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

she's

sme`s

Change noun form

SMEsare

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having a hard time during

pandemic

Add an article

a pandemic

the pandemic

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hence

Linking Words

lot

Add an article

a lot

show examples

sme`s

Correct your spelling

SME's

closed their operations.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the private sector should focus on their employers’ education and other ability which improve their productivity. Due to its duty, organisations are already doing great work.

For example

Linking Words

; some

companies

Use synonyms

pay the school fees for their employees.

Thus

Linking Words

, workers who get professional development become possible to do their job well.

Lastly

Linking Words

, private institutions provide employment to almost half of the working people. So, It may decrease unemployment. Thereby helping to reduce even one of the county’s problems. So why would we require business institutions to provide

sports

Use synonyms

complexes for local communities?

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, businesses in the

sports

Use synonyms

sector can provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities, if they want. Because those

companies

Use synonyms

know about necessary things that should be done in

this

Linking Words

industry.

Also

Linking Words

, sport is important for a person’s health.

That is

Linking Words

why

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

such

Linking Words

as jogging tracks, and gyms need to be built. To conclude, a set up like a

sports

Use synonyms

hall is significant for our life. Even so, non-governmental organizations

such

Linking Words

as private

companies

Use synonyms

should not provide facilities for physical activities for the local districts.

Submitted by nsarangua on Wed Sep 14 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

257 words

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You eat in your college cafeteria everyday lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The topic of this: Currently, most students are studying only mathematics and the world language, English. What do you think its advantages more than its disadvantages?

Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays, more people move away from their families and friends for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people think climate change negatively impacts business, while others think it provides more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.