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Band 7.5

Environment pollution is too alarming to be managed by individuals. Real change can be made at the government level. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#environment #pollution #individuals #change #government #level
It is undeniable that environmental
pollution
 is a pressing problem these days and individuals are unable to solve
this
 issue by themselves so it would be a prudent approach if higher authorities solve
this
 concern in their own way . To commence with, there are a number of factors by which
government
 can overcome the rising environmental
pollution
 and the prominent one is carpooling because there is no denying in
this
 conviction that nowadays everyone prefers to have their own vehicle
instead
 of travelling by public transport and a large number of automobiles are the main the reason of
this
 environmental
pollution
. If the higher authorities start the rule for even and odd number of cars
then
 might
this
 problem can be reduced.
Moreover
, the
government
 should reduce the ticket prices of public transport which encourages society to travel by
government
 buses which might help to handle
this
 conflict.
Furthermore
 , environmental
pollution
 is
also
 caused by factories which emit harmful gases like carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxide and many more . These gases increase the atmospheric temperature which leads to global warming.
Thus
 , higher authorities should move these factories from outside of the cities by which not only the environment can be protected but
also
 human life can be saved from health hazards. On the
flipside
Correct your spelling
flip side
show examples
, individuals
also
 should take part in protecting the environment as they are a part of their society.
For example
, the
government
 should make a rule that every family member has to plant a tree every year and they should be appreciated by giving them rewards
thus
 , our earth can be protected if these rules are followed. In conclusion,
although
 it is the responsibility of individuals to protect their environment, the
government
 should take strict actions to save it .
Submitted by sunnygarg710 on

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task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to directly address the prompt and guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Organize each paragraph around a single main idea and use clear topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Increase the variety of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, synonyms, pronouns) to improve essay flow.
task achievement
Introduce the counterargument more clearly and distinguish it from your main argument in order to enhance task response.
coherence and cohesion
To reach higher scores, refine your paragraph transitions to ensure smoother flow from one idea to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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