Goverment has responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety.Therefore,some people think that the goverment should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Social
benefits
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help in the growth of the
country
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. I partially disagree with the statement that the government should invest more in
defence
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rather than social
benefits
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for the safety of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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citizens
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.
This
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essay will discuss both sides of the argument in the subsequent paragraph. Government should invest some money in improving their
defence
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so that there will be no terror attacks on the
country
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. To elucidate, if a
country
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has a weak
defence
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system
then
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a terrorist or other dangerous organization will try to attack more on the
country
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.
Correct quantifier usage
more.
show examples
But if countries
has
Change the verb form
have
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good weapons and the latest high-tech technologies, it will not be easy for any organizations to attack the
country
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.
Moreover
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,
citizens
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will feel more secure in the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, corporations should invest money towards social
benefits
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like
food
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assistance
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.
This
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assistance
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will prevent people from dying because lack of
food
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eating. To illustrate, the US government provide
food
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stamps to people who are homeless.
This
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initiative has helped in reducing death caused by
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
food
Use synonyms
by 10 per cent.
In addition
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to
this
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, they can
also
Linking Words
invest in improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare in the
country
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so that any individual can get treatment without any money.
This
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will help
also
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help in defending people who can’t afford to perform treatment for their disease.
For instance
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, Canada is providing security to their
citizens
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through free healthcare. Any individual can go to any doctor or hospital and get their treatment for free. In conclusion to
this
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, I partially disagree with the statement that they should only invest more in
Use synonyms
defence
Correct article usage
the defence
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of the
country
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. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they should invest more in other
benefits
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such
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as healthcare,
food
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assistance
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or housing
assistance
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so that their
citizens
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can live their lives without any issues.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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