IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that government should spend on medical facilities whereas other people think that investing on transport is necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #facilities #transport
In
this
 era of
modernisation
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,modernisation
show examples
 some fields have got less attention
by
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from
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 the
law maker
Correct your spelling
lawmaker
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. A number of individuals believe that capital on
health
 department should be increased while few consider that spending on
transportation
 is crucial.
This
 essay intends to analyze both perspectives. I,
however
, favour of former view. On the one hand, with better modes of
transportation
Add a comma
,transportation
show examples
 the economy of a particular
country
 could reach
to
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apply
show examples
new heights.
In other words
, as there will be better means of transport
then
 moving goods to any part of the
country
 would be very convenient.
Moreover
,it will help farmers as well as industrialists to trade at a very low cost.
For instance
 , Srilanka a
country
 that had developed in a very short time followed the same procedure by increasing the capital on automobiles used for moving goods.
Thus
, a nation could achieve a lot by investing in
transportation
.
On the other hand
, as high chunks of money would be invested
on
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in
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 the medical department it will reduce the ratio of death due to the lack of proper
health
 facilities.To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, in rural areas
their
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there
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 is on average 60% death due to lack of medical amenities
this
 could be tackled by introducing more hospitals as well as
health
 surveys in the rural areas.
For example
, in
Africa
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,Africa
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 80% of civilians die due to lack of
health
 care but the scenario changed as authorities provided a large amount of money in the medical field.
As a result
, the ratio decreased to 40%.
Moreover
, it will
also
 increase the infant mortality rate of a
country
.
Therefore
, it is imperative to invest in the
health
 department. In conclusion, even though
transportation
 increases
economy
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the economy
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 of a
country
 but I believe that saving
Correct article usage
an individual's
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individual's
Change noun form
individual
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 life by providing proper
health
 care is a major point which cannot be neglected.
Submitted by Designbyjaspreet on

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