Some people think that government should spend on medical facilities whereas other people think that investing on transport is necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #facilities #transport

this

era of

modernisation

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,modernisation

show examples

some fields have got less attention

Change preposition

from

show examples

the

law maker

Correct your spelling

lawmaker

show examples

. A number of individuals believe that capital on

health

department should be increased while few consider that spending on

transportation

is crucial.

This

essay intends to analyze both perspectives. I,

however

, favour of former view. On the one hand, with better modes of

transportation

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,transportation

show examples

the economy of a particular

country

could reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new heights.

In other words

, as there will be better means of transport

then

moving goods to any part of the

country

would be very convenient.

Moreover

,it will help farmers as well as industrialists to trade at a very low cost.

For instance

, Srilanka a

country

that had developed in a very short time followed the same procedure by increasing the capital on automobiles used for moving goods.

Thus

, a nation could achieve a lot by investing in

transportation

On the other hand

, as high chunks of money would be invested

Change preposition

show examples

the medical department it will reduce the ratio of death due to the lack of proper

health

facilities.To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, in rural areas

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

is on average 60% death due to lack of medical amenities

this

could be tackled by introducing more hospitals as well as

health

surveys in the rural areas.

For example

, in

Africa

Add a comma

,Africa

show examples

80% of civilians die due to lack of

health

care but the scenario changed as authorities provided a large amount of money in the medical field.

As a result

, the ratio decreased to 40%.

Moreover

, it will

also

increase the infant mortality rate of a

country

Therefore

, it is imperative to invest in the

health

department. In conclusion, even though

transportation

increases

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

of a

country

but I believe that saving

Correct article usage

an individual's

show examples

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

life by providing proper

health

care is a major point which cannot be neglected.

Submitted by Designbyjaspreet on Thu Sep 15 2022

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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