IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is impossible for a county to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #county #environment
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In
21th
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21st
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 century, day by day more governments in significant nations concentrate on how to achieve
economic
Add an article
the economic
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 success which leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of focus on the endangered
environment
Use synonyms
. Some individuals advocate that a country is unable to manage both environmental cleanliness and economical targets.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 I believe that the
government
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 is able to not only have a rich economy but
also
Linking Words
 preserve the
environment
Use synonyms
. For years, the
government
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 neglected the key role of the
environment
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 which has a strong connection to success in business. Industrial businesses have a tendency
of
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for
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 many economy
factories
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 to exploit natural resources to increase their sales.
As a result
Linking Words
, the
environment
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 becomes worse.
Factories
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 dump their industrial waste and emissions
to
Change preposition
into
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 the atmosphere
instead
Linking Words
 of having the right waste treatment;
hence
Linking Words
 the pollution of air and water
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 more common . The more
factories
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 they build, the more plants will be cut down which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to the erosion and undernutrition of soil. Take China - one of the most developed industrial nations - as an example, air quality there is the worst in the world, with thick layers of smog covering the atmosphere. If natural resources had been used till the end, the industry would run out of fuel and
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 to stop producing. There are some promising ways to believe that a strong economy and a clean
environment
Use synonyms
 can co-exist. One of the solutions is that the
government
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 can stimulate travel companies to increase the quantity of eco-tourism. Another solution is that the
government
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 should impose heavier punishment on organizations that harm the
environment
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.
However
Linking Words
,
factories
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 can
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
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 renewable energy in their industrial process
such
Linking Words
 as using alternative energy to produce
castrol
Correct your spelling
control
Castrol
. To sum it up, individuals and the
government
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 should put efforts together;
thus
Linking Words
 it is possible for a nation to be both economically successful and have a green
environment
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. I believe that an up-and-coming solution would help any nation to be successful to achieve both targets in the future.
Submitted by phanhai288 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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