Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. why is that the cause? Should they be encouraged to utilise their free time in a better way?

#pastime #people #utilise #time

Nowadays, shopping is the

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

entertainment for most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

individuals.

This

essay will discuss

Correct word choice

whether is

show examples

there any activity to do

besides

shopping.

Firstly

, the youth loves to buy new items. Shopping is

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the most enthusiastic

activities

extensive research

conducted

Add a missing verb

was conducted

show examples

that 70% of

people

are curious the buying new staff. The biggest reason is curiosity. Crowds are very curious to purchase new things.

This

leads to many consequences

such

as overspending and wasting money. The

second

reason is

people

are addicted to buying new

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

. Research conducted recently indicated that

addiction

is one of the prominent

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

shopping.

This

addiction

badly affects

people

's lives.

Addiction

is some type of illness

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

people

can not control. Shopping makes

addiction

People

just spend a lot of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

sustain

this

addiction

Secondly

, the government should take a big responsibility to encourage individuals to do better

activities

. There are lots of

activities

to do

besides

shopping. A study carried out by Koc University showed that the young generation should play chess or

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

a new language is better than shopping. Shopping is just spending money. Shopping is not beneficial for

people

. Individuals should try new things which contribute to their lives If the government prepare new events for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

such

as swimming or basketball matches

people

would have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quality time.

Also

this

type of sport is very entertaining. To conclude,

people

can do lots of

activities

instead

of shopping. Professors suggested that playing chess or swimming is better than shopping.

Submitted by brsson06 on Thu Sep 15 2022

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. why is that the cause? Should they be encouraged to utilise their free time in a better way?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Consumer electronics products are making our lives more comfortable and entertaining. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children . Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are required to

The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.