Some people think that the government should give financial support to artists such as musicians, painters and poets. Others think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Art
should be praised in the form of financial support according to
some while
others are against this
idea.Now it has become the topic of debate between them. In my ,opinion artists should be supported by any means not only financially so that they can focus on their talent.This
essay will discuss both opinions in further
paragraphs .
To begin
with , the first and most important reason is that it helps them to boost their morale , therefore
they will produce more art
without any financial stress.Obviously , they devote their talent to creating magnificent products like painting , music or poetry, which is a major tool for people
whenever they seek peace after a hard-working
day.Correct word choice
hard
However
, they do not get paid by the government as it is considered a hobby ,not a full-time job which demoralises them to give their best. Furthermore
, art
like music or poetry not only becomes a means of entertainment but also
contributes to society by spreading social messages. therefore
, artists deserve the expenditure from the government as their work has a great influence on society.
On the other hand
, some folks believe that there are more significant aspects like education , healthcare or transportation system
that need more priority and consider Fix the agreement mistake
systems
this
investment waste
of Correct article usage
a waste
money
.It is undeniable that those aspects play a paramount significant role in people
's daily life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For example
, if a country does not have a proper healthcare system then
what is the use of great art
?Moreover
,It is considered that there are several people
who have an interest in art
and they spend an amount of money
to subsidise the art
. For example
, producers are already spending money
on musicians or some painting collectors have hobbies to collect
Change preposition
of collecting
the
paintings they will pay a hefty amount .
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
,although
some people
think that the government should not spend money
on the
Correct article usage
apply
artist
because of problems in other sectors , I believe that they should spend Fix the agreement mistake
artists
money
on the
Correct article usage
apply
artist
as well, as it helps them to boost their morale so that they can contribute more to a good way to society and country.Fix the agreement mistake
artists
Submitted by pooja.raikwar27 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer and smoother progression between ideas and paragraphs by using linking devices and transitional phrases more effectively. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on the points to ensure they are presented with greater precision, particularly when outlining the opposing viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows a good task response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and help frame the discussion effectively.