IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that restoration of old building costs too much. We should demolish them and build new one instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is an undeniable truth that the old heritage
buildings
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 in a country showcase their cultural and historical values.
However
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, because these
buildings
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 were constructed a very long time ago, they require high maintenance, and
therefore
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, some
people
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 believe that the government should destroy them and build better well-planned
buildings
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. I personally hold the same views as them because I feel
such
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buildings
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 are a liability for a country and their maintenance cost can be used for a better cause. I elucidate my stand in the following paragraphs. The
first
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 and foremost reason for destroying
such
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buildings
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 is that some nations are continuously fighting against the problem of overpopulation.
In other words
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, some
people
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 are unable to buy a house, which they can call home because they are overpriced due to space. To exemplify, we can consider Mumbai, the financial capital of India, is overly crowded (more than 20 million
people
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) and builders do not have space to build homes that can accommodate many families.
Therefore
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, it does not make any sense to restore the old
buildings
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, but
instead
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, the site can be utilized to build high-rise
buildings
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 which can lower house prices.
Furthermore
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, one more convincing point which can not be ignored is unemployment. These sites can be used to build shopping malls which add jobs to the market, and eventually, reduce the unemployment rate. To justify, I would quote the example of Infinity Mall that gives to over 2,000 employees, which is evidential proof of
this
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 phenomenon.
On the other hand
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, no one can deny the demits of these
buildings
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. The major adverse impact they have is they can be and kill many
people
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. In conclusion, I recapitulate that there are innumerable strong arguments supporting demolishing old
buildings
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 as their restoration cost can be utilized for better reasons.
Therefore
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, I firmly agree with the presented statement.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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