Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #animals #zoos #environments #st #century

In the 21st century, wild lives are no longer needed to be kept in

zoos

. According to the fact that staying in

zoos

can cause the changing in

animals

' behaviour, I totally agree that they have the right to be released back to their home and live their life healthily in a better environment. Admittedly,

zoos

are a great shelter for many wild

animals

, especially sick

animals

and endangered

animals

such

as chimpanzees, pandas, and rhinos which might not be able to survive safely in the wild areas.

Additionally

, according to the growing population, forests and wild areas have been taken by humans which is no longer safe for them.

For example

, the population of pandas in China have increased significantly due to the help from local

zoos

and support from the government.

On the other hand

, anyone including animal beings deserve the right to stay in their home which is an open space rather than a narrow space

such

as man-made

zoos

. Apart from the benefit that

animals

can be free from humans, they

also

can be more healthy due to the rich ecosystem that provides and supports them with a variety of foods and natural medicines which can not be found in man-made environments. Many studies have shown that compare to the

animals

that are kept in

zoos

animals

that live in the wild are 30 % healthier and happier,

for example

, numerous orcas that have been kept in aquariums are found depressed due to a lack of connection with their tribes and wild nature. In conclusion,

although

zoos

are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

safe place that provides security and care for many

animals

, they have the right to stay in their home. I absolutely agree that wild lives should be released into the wild.

Submitted by clairchengun on Fri Sep 16 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The cost of international travel is decreasing, and so the trend of international tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries?

In many countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the Internet?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completly wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. what is your opinion?

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Not mine)

Some parents and teachers think that children's behaviour should be strongly monitored whereas others think that children should be allowed to behave as they want . Discuss both views and give your opinion.