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Band 4

The best way to understand cultures is by working at a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #organization
Nowadays, some people insist that the best way to grasp
cultures
 is
working
Change preposition
by working
show examples
 at a multinational organization. In my opinion, I partly
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 statement. When I think about the merit of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at
multinational
Correct article usage
a multinational
show examples
 organization for understanding
cultures
,
Firstly
, using
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 language is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
the crucial
show examples
 point. People who manipulate the same language tend to share their way of thinking easily.
Moreover
, the system of workforce contributes
learning
Change preposition
to learning
show examples
 of original
cultures
.
For example
, recognizing
payment
Correct article usage
the payment
show examples
 system in many Japanese enterprises
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 based on the belief of
seniorly
Correct your spelling
senior
seniors
seniority
 will help
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 understanding of Japanese culture. There are many
strongpoint
Change to a plural noun
strongpoints
show examples
 to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at
Correct your spelling
multinational
multinationaI
Correct article usage
a multinationaI
show examples
 organization as I wrote, but I believe that studying abroad is the better way to comprehend
cultures
. Exchange
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in unknown
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 manipulate languages practical and communicate with other people both
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 daily and academic
scene
Fix the agreement mistake
scenes
show examples
, not only business scene is meaningful for gaining
recognizes
Replace the word
recognition
show examples
 for things of local residents.
Furthermore
, through experiencing things they had never done,
for example
 having local foods, walking
cityscape
Correct article usage
the cityscape
show examples
, and seeing sightseeing
spot
Fix the agreement mistake
spots
show examples
, students naturally learn
values
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
 of the region. Working at
multinational
Correct article usage
a multinational
show examples
Correct your spelling
company
campany
Correct your spelling
company
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 understanding of
cultures
 through the being of
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 language and unique system, but the extent of grasping
cultures
 through
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 of visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
another region to study
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
beyond
Add a missing verb
be beyond
show examples
 it.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, I partly
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 opinion, but I have
disagreement
Add an article
a disagreement
show examples
 to some extent.
Submitted by madoka1104com on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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