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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the government should not spend on international aid because there are disadvantaged people in their own country, such as the unemployed and homeless. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #government #aid #country
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The ever-growing population across many
countries
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 in the world has brought along with it many problems
such
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 as poverty, illiteracy and massive layoffs. To tackle these problems, many governments have allocated a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of resources. Given that all
countries
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 have their own problems to address, I agree with the argument that their priority should be given to their own disadvantaged
people
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. There are many reasons for which I believe governments ought to attach more importance to their own
people
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.
To begin
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 with, should those governments spend financial resources on international
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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, they would sooner or later suffer from scarce funds considering the fact that many of them have already been in debt. Under
such
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 a circumstance, it indeed makes more sense to reserve the money for the development and maintenance of their own social security measures
such
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 as health services for the sick and shelters for homeless
people
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.
Also
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, focusing on their own
people
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 contributes to the improvement of
"post-donation"
Correct article usage
the "post-donation"
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 experience of taxpayers. After all, the government collects budgets from average taxpayers, and the latter are usually more sensitive to the needy
people
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 from the same community.
On the other hand
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,
however
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, I would have to admit that donation to the poorer nations somehow plays a significant role in the process of achieving human decency and humanity. Without the aids from other
countries
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,
people
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 living in impoverished regions may find it rather difficult to have their most fundamental survival needs satisfied. Stopping offering financial assistance to those
people
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 and meanwhile enjoying domestic prosperity, to some extent, is equivalent to indirectly depriving their
last
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 chance to survive,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
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 lead to ethical challenges to the entire human society. In summary, despite the significance of relief
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 to foreign
countries
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, I still believe that the government should help their own disadvantaged residents
first
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. After all, it is impossible for a single country to eliminate poverty and unemployment altogether.
Submitted by heytanglyi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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