IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

#people #hours #time #leisure #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The present
work
Use synonyms
 culture has led to many working continuously with little
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities. Though there are both advantages and disadvantages to it, I believe some amount of free
time
Use synonyms
 is absolutely necessary to rejuvenate and refresh one's mind to perform better at
work
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, tight schedules or an important project prolongs
time
Use synonyms
 spent at
work
Use synonyms
. Longer office
time
Use synonyms
 affects one's health.
As a result
Linking Words
, people tend to develop stress-related illnesses like obesity and depression .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it minimises their working capacity.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study done among IT professionals showed longer working
hours
Use synonyms
 to be associated with the development of mental depression.
Also
Linking Words
 , longer
work
Use synonyms
 schedules mean very little
time
Use synonyms
 with family.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 creates differences between husband and wife leading to misunderstandings .
Hence
Linking Words
 , prolonged working
hours
Use synonyms
 cause health issues and family problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, shorter working
hours
Use synonyms
 mean more
time
Use synonyms
 for relaxation which helps to rejuvenate the mind and body.
This
Linking Words
 indirectly helps to concentrate better at
work
Use synonyms
 leading to improvement in efficiency at
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a greater amount of
time
Use synonyms
 to play sports or to go on family holidays.
For example
Linking Words
, an hour of physical activity has been found to improve one's daily functioning.
Thus
Linking Words
 , leisure in the form of a sport or family holiday is important . In conclusion , shorter working
hours
Use synonyms
 will result in more leisure
time
Use synonyms
 .
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it will allow oneself to take
time
Use synonyms
 for sports which will improve their health.
Additionally
Linking Words
, greater family
time
Use synonyms
 can be devoted.
Submitted by msmdsaif1989 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • financial gain
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • personal fulfillment
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social life
  • quality of life
  • neglect
  • leisure activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: