The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

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Obesity among children is a disturbing trend in developed countries, and it is becoming one of the main causes of serious diseases.

This

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essay will discuss some reasons why kids are becoming overweight and propose increasing daily physical activity

together with

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following a balanced diet as a possible solution. One of the most negative impacts of excessive body mass in childhood is the risk of developing diabetes.

This

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medical condition is hard to treat and significantly decreases the quality of life.

For example

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, a sick child will have to take medicines life-long and follow a strict diet.

Fortunately

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the causes of gaining weight are well studied and measures to avoid it are available to any family. First of all, understanding the basic mechanism of gaining weight is a clue. It is a disproportion between calorie intake and spending that leads to extra kilos.

In other words

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, low physical activity and unhealthy foods are the main causes of obesity.

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parents should focus on providing quality nutrition to their kids

together with

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a sufficient amount of active games, sports and outdoor activities.

For instance

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, prioritizing home-cooked meals over rich-in-sugar snacks and keeping soft drinks outside the house is a simple solution for improving a child's diet.

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, replacing an hour of daily screen time with a family walk would fulfil the need for physical activity. In conclusion, overweight children face high risks of health issues and measures should be taken to avoid obesity. Targeting the lack of body movement and reducing sugar consumption will help children to grow healthy and thrive.

yulia.gottfriedThu Feb 08 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction provided a clear overview, but make sure to directly address all parts of the prompt in your essay. Although you discussed possible causes and effects, there's room to provide more specific examples to support each point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance it, consider the use of a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Include a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support your points. Detailed examples help to illustrate and strengthen your arguments. Make sure the examples are directly related to the causes, effects, and solutions for childhood obesity.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
nutritional value
screen time
socio-economic factors
chronic diseases
self-esteem
bullying
financial burden
promote healthy eating
physical activity
whole grains
education and awareness
policy and regulation
subsidies
fast food
obesity-related conditions

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The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Some people think that children should not watch television, because it has negative effects, while others believe it helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is that loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The central government, the city government and individuals should all be responsible for protecting the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Crime rates will fall is advance in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?