The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.
Obesity among children is a disturbing trend in developed countries, and it is becoming one of the main causes of serious diseases.
This
essay will discuss some reasons why kids are becoming overweight and propose increasing daily physical activity together with
following a balanced diet as a possible solution.
One of the most negative impacts of excessive body mass in childhood is the risk of developing diabetes. This
medical condition is hard to treat and significantly decreases the quality of life. For example
, a sick child will have to take medicines life-long and follow a strict diet. Fortunately
the causes of gaining weight are well studied and measures to avoid it are available to any family.
First of all, understanding the basic mechanism of gaining weight is a clue. It is a disproportion between calorie intake and spending that leads to extra kilos. Add a comma
Fortunately,
In other words
, low physical activity and unhealthy foods are the main causes of obesity. Therefore
parents should focus on providing quality nutrition to their kids together with
a sufficient amount of active games, sports and outdoor activities. For instance
, prioritizing home-cooked meals over rich-in-sugar snacks and keeping soft drinks outside the house is a simple solution for improving a child's diet. In addition
, replacing an hour of daily screen time with a family walk would fulfil the need for physical activity.
In conclusion, overweight children face high risks of health issues and measures should be taken to avoid obesity. Targeting the lack of body movement and reducing sugar consumption will help children to grow healthy and thrive.Submitted by yulia.gottfried on
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task achievement
Your introduction provided a clear overview, but make sure to directly address all parts of the prompt in your essay. Although you discussed possible causes and effects, there's room to provide more specific examples to support each point.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance it, consider the use of a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to ensure a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a wider range of specific, relevant examples to support your points. Detailed examples help to illustrate and strengthen your arguments. Make sure the examples are directly related to the causes, effects, and solutions for childhood obesity.