Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others arque that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A large part of society claims that the youth should engage in a working environment to learn primarily lessons about it,

while

Linking Words

others believe that they should enjoy their rest

time

Use synonyms

. From my perspective, working from an early age is a valuable experience for teenagers.

Although

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working can increase mental pressure on them, they will face the reality of life and improve their

time

Use synonyms

management at an early age.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the work environment is harsh. If

people

Use synonyms

counter with it late, they will have depression. So, entering in workplace is a fantastic experience. They learn about the salary and the tax, and understand how to manage their income.

For example

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, a lot of

people

Use synonyms

who started working from an early age are more successful than others.

In addition

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, most teenagers do not take their lives seriously

due to

Linking Words

the fact that their parents take care of everything. When they start working, they realise that earning money is an arduous activity.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they will be working on their

time

Use synonyms

management, and they

also

Linking Words

know how education is vital for them.

On the other hand

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, it is widely believed that pressure can decrease creativity. If students start working too hard, they will get tired. So, their performance in school will drop.

In addition

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, they have a lot of homework to do in their spare

time

Use synonyms

. When they work, they have less

time

Use synonyms

to do them, and sometimes they do homework without enough accuracy.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will fall behind in their lessons, and they will lose their motivation for going to school.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the workplace is not always safe for young

people

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. They can be bullied by elderly

people

Use synonyms

To conclude

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, working is a high-value experience for teenagers. They will improve their knowledge about money, and they take life more seriously;

however

Linking Words

, the workplace environment can be dangerous for them, and

also

Linking Words

decrease their performance in school.

Nov 22, 2025

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task

In the intro, state your clear view and keep it to one line. Add a short plan of what you will talk about.

coherence

Show a stronger link between ideas. Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'then', 'finally' to show order.

structure

Use one clear idea per paragraph. Keep sentences short and on one idea.

grammar

Fix grammar mistakes. Check subject-verb and noun use. Use simple, true sentences.

content

Add more clear examples that prove your point. Simple facts or life facts can help.

content

Be careful with claims about danger. Not all teens have danger in work. Be precise.

position

The writer shows a real view and some good ideas.

structure

The essay has a plan: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence

There are some good linking words here and there.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others arque that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However, it is no longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?

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In the past when students did a university degree they tended to study in their own counrty. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?