IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree

#health #exercise
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Health
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 is the greatest blessing in life, being in
a
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good
health
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 can’t be substituted by treasures.
Thus
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,
people
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 seek to maintain a healthy lifestyle through
diet
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 restrictions, exercising on a daily basis and continuous medical advisement. In my opinion,
diet
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 regulation is as vital as exercising regularly. There is no doubt that a daily workout is highly essential since it helps
people
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 to regulate their weight
thus
Linking Words
 decreasing the risks of chronic diseases
such
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 as diabetes and hypertension.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it keeps your body strong and protected from disc problems by strengthening your body muscles.
For instance
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, a study
done
Unnecessary verb
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showed that 70% of
people
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 suffering from obesity and diabetes are on a sedentary lifestyle and they don’t do any kind of sports.
However
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, exercising alone isn’t enough to maintain good
health
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,
people
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 should be aware of the food they are consuming, and be careful in choosing what to eat. Obviously,
people
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 can gain weight easily despite exercising if they eat more junk foods and fewer fruits and vegetables. Actually, junk food might night only lead to obesity, but
also
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it
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raises
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raise
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 the cholesterol levels that are the first cause behind myocardial infarctions. Recently, a dietitian performed research in collaboration with her clients, the results showed that the clients who used to consume a lot of fast food are having a series of
health
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 issues and are on multiple treatments since exercising and
diet
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 adjustment are not enough at
this
Linking Words
 critical stage.
To conclude
Linking Words
, good
health
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 results in a pleasant life, and it’s under our control. In my opinion, It is highly recommended to keep on maintaining a healthy
diet
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along with
Linking Words
 daily workouts to stay in
a
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apply
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good
health
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.
Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on

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task response
You need to provide a more balanced view on the topic, outlining arguments both in favor and against the idea of daily exercise for improving health.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to use transition words to improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
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