IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that they have the right to use as much as fresh water they want, others believe government should control the use of water as it limited sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals hold the view that they are not limited in the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 at all and may use it as much as they wish
whereas
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 others advocate that authorities need to restrict
this
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 valuable resource. From my perspective, the issue of H2O scarcity is getting more and more serious and
hence
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 certain measures should be taken in order to avoid
this
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 emerging crisis. The points of view will be examined below.
To begin
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 with, some consumers live as if there is no tomorrow. Unfortunately, they consume and waste tonnes of freshwater despite environmental problems
such
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 as deficiency of
water
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 supplies.
For example
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, a recent study has shown that every person wastes approximately 38 litres of
water
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 daily
while
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 brushing their teeth.
Therefore
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, citizens of the planet should be more conscious and pay more attention to the seriousness of the issue.
For instance
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, some people turn the tap off
while
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 brushing their teeth. So, if everyone did so a lot of H2O would be saved. Importantly, other consumers realise the problem of fresh
water
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 to the fullest extent and try to do something about it.
Thus
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, some people suggest that the administration should take notice of how much H2O people consume and, probably, limit
this
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 usage.
For example
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, in some areas of Germany
water
Use synonyms
 supplies are limited and
that is
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 why the government allows citizens to use only a certain amount of
water
Use synonyms
 daily. Obviously, it might cause some inconveniences to the population but it is still the right method that helps to prevent a serious deficiency of
water
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. In conclusion, the issue of
water
Use synonyms
 supplies has worsened over the past decade.
Moreover
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, it might get worse if consumers do not learn how not to waste
this
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 precious resource. On top of that, the government should be involved in tackling the problem.

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task response
The essay effectively addresses the given topic and presents a clear opinion. However, ensure that each main point is supported with specific examples and details to strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall with a clear logical structure and well-defined introduction and conclusion. Ensure that there is a smoother transition between the ideas and examples provided.
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