Today, people are buying more consumer goods like jewelry and household appliances. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many individuals tend to purchase more consumer products
such
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as jewellery and home appliances. In my opinion,
this
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emerging behaviour will bring more negative impacts on society.
This
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essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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buying trend.
Firstly
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, I will explain the positive aspects and will be followed by the negative aspects explanation.
To begin
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with, buying these kinds of stuff could make a person
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
happier for a certain time. Multiple studies explain that shopping
would bring
Wrong verb form
brings
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a joyful feeling. People look more attractive with jewellery,
whereas
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sort of household appliances like microwaves, washing machines and vacuum cleaners would make domestic jobs easier to complete.
For example
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, my sister goes to the shopping mall every week as her way to release the stress level caused by her workload.
In addition
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, she said that after buying some consumer goods, her mood would be better for a
while
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.
Thus
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, buying these sorts of things could temporarily improve an individual's level of happiness. Despite its advantages,
this
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growing trend would bring negative effects. Usually, the price of these product categories is expensive.
Furthermore
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, people would lose their
saving fund
Fix the agreement mistake
savings funds
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if they spend too much on luxurious things.
For instance
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, my friend who really loves to collect expensive goods had financial difficulties when emergencies like accidents happen. The hospital bill was much higher than his amount of savings,
then
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he could not get the best medication.
For
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this
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reason, over-consumption habits can negatively affect people's financial well-being.
To sum up
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, consumer goods product expenses could bring positive things to improve mood but
this
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habit brings some negative impacts on the financial health of an individual. The disadvantages were higher than the positive impacts. In my view, it is better to spend the money wisely.
Submitted by evan.naratama on

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task response
Task Response: The essay adequately addresses the advantages and disadvantages of the increasing trend of purchasing consumer goods. However, the conclusion does not clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It is important to clearly address the prompt and provide a balanced view on the topic.
coherence coherence
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples. However, there is some repetition in the use of words and phrases. To improve coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas and avoid repetition.
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