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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
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 many people believe that the most essential factor contributing to
companies
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' success is that employers and workers communicate well with each other, others argue that other
factors
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 are more crucial.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I think that both
communication
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 and other
factors
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,
such
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 as processes and tools, are equally important. On the one hand, many businesses require great teamwork which usually results from good
communication
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. Since owners are too busy to complete all tasks by themselves, they hire people to
work
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 with them as a team.
However
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, if either leaders or followers lack good
communication
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 skills, they will not understand each other and
work
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 without alignment, causing a drop in the company's performance.
For instance
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, if a CEO cannot communicate and tell his team what is the top priority during the product launch phase, team members might prioritize incorrectly and focus on less important tasks which may lead to a delay.
On the other hand
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, good
communication
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 alone is not enough to bring success to businesses, other
factors
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such
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 as efficient processes and tools play an important role as well. Regarding efficient processes,
companies
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 can reduce errors and defects, and technological tools
also
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 enhance
work
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 productivity because they unlock employees from labour-intensive activities and allow them to do more important tasks.
As a result
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, these two
factors
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 help
companies
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 reduce costs and
finally
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 generate higher profits.
For example
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, factories increase their yields by installing autonomous machines and implementing well-structured
work
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 procedures. In conclusion,
although
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 it is thought that the most significant factor making
companies
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 succeed is
communication
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, there are other essential components
also
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 contributing.
While
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 well-designed
work
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 instructions prevent mistakes, labour-saving equipment increases workers' productivity, growing
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
 margins.

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Task Achievement
While you present both views well, aim to deepen the analysis of each perspective. Adding more depth would strengthen your main points significantly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are clearly linked with a variety of cohesive devices. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples for each factor discussed, as this will support your arguments more robustly and demonstrate a deeper understanding.
Task Achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion in your conclusion, demonstrating good task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-structured, which aids in the clarity of your argument and contributes to overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Effective communication
  • Job satisfaction
  • Company's goals and values
  • Problem solving
  • Decision-making processes
  • Market adaptability
  • Innovation
  • Leadership quality
  • Visionary leader
  • Supportive corporate culture
  • Inclusivity
  • Employee well-being
  • Productivity
  • Training and development opportunities
  • Corporate success
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