STUDIES SHOW THAT CRIME RATE ARE LOWER AMONG THOSE WITH EDUCATION DEGREES. THEREFORE, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE CRIME RATE IS TO EDUCATE CRIMINALS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN PRISON. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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Pupils illustrate THAT
CRIME
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RATE ARE very LOW AMONG THOSE WITH
EDUCATION
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DEGREES.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE
CRIME
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RATE IS TO EDUCATE
prisoners
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WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN
PRISON
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. In my opinion, educating
prisoners
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is the best way to avoid
crime
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because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Giving
education
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is necessary for
Use synonyms
prisoner's
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners'
show examples
personal development.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Crime
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is one of the biggest issues recently. İndividuals want to solve
this
Linking Words
issue using
education
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. Research conducted by CNN revealed that giving
education
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to
Use synonyms
prisoner
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
show examples
%80 of decrease
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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rate. İt is logical statistics because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
İf
people
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are educated they would not try to attack other
people
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. İt would preserve so much
crime
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in the world. As for me, when they were in the
prison
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they felt awful. They need to be conscious:
therefore
Linking Words
,The Government should give
education
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to them. İf they take a lesson they would understand their mistake. They would not do
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
mistake.
For example
Linking Words
, Michael Myers
Add a missing verb
was
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sentenced
ten
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to ten
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years
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prison
Change preposition
in prison
show examples
when he was in the
prison
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he was taking lessons. Afterwards, he learned
his
Change preposition
from his
show examples
mistake and he became a beneficial
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
to the government
instead
Linking Words
of being harmful.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Some individuals think
education
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does not influence
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prisoners
Change noun form
prisoners'
prisoner's
show examples
behaviours.
An extensive
Remove the article
Extensive
show examples
research conducted by CNBC revealed that 65% of
prisoners
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get worse after taking lessons.Giving
education
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is not plausible for
prisoners
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Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
is not appropriate for
prisoners
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Michael
Londler
Correct your spelling
Landler
is one of the cruel
murder
Replace the word
murderers
show examples
in the world. İf we give a lesson or try to educate him it would not be a dulcet idea. He tends to kill
people
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. To conclude, there are many ideas which believe
education
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would completely change a
prisoner
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's life. In my opinion,
Education
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positively influences a
prisoner
Use synonyms
's life and it is a beneficial method.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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