STUDIES SHOW THAT CRIME RATE ARE LOWER AMONG THOSE WITH EDUCATION DEGREES. THEREFORE, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE CRIME RATE IS TO EDUCATE CRIMINALS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN PRISON. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#studies #show #crime #rate #education #degrees #criminals #prison

Pupils illustrate THAT

CRIME

RATE ARE very LOW AMONG THOSE WITH

EDUCATION

DEGREES.

THEREFORE

, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE

CRIME

RATE IS TO EDUCATE

prisoners

WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN

PRISON

. In my opinion, educating

prisoners

is the best way to avoid

crime

because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Giving

education

is necessary for

prisoner's

Fix the agreement mistake

prisoners'

show examples

personal development.

Firstly

Crime

is one of the biggest issues recently. İndividuals want to solve

this

issue using

education

. Research conducted by CNN revealed that giving

education

prisoner

Fix the agreement mistake

prisoners

show examples

%80 of decrease

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate. İt is logical statistics because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

İf

people

are educated they would not try to attack other

people

. İt would preserve so much

crime

in the world. As for me, when they were in the

prison

they felt awful. They need to be conscious:

therefore

,The Government should give

education

to them. İf they take a lesson they would understand their mistake. They would not do

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

mistake.

For example

, Michael Myers

Add a missing verb

was

show examples

sentenced

ten

Change preposition

to ten

show examples

years

prison

Change preposition

in prison

show examples

when he was in the

prison

he was taking lessons. Afterwards, he learned

his

Change preposition

from his

show examples

mistake and he became a beneficial

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

to the government

instead

of being harmful.

Secondly

, Some individuals think

education

does not influence

prisoners

Change noun form

prisoners'

prisoner's

show examples

behaviours.

An extensive

Remove the article

Extensive

show examples

research conducted by CNBC revealed that 65% of

prisoners

get worse after taking lessons.Giving

education

is not plausible for

prisoners

Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

education

is not appropriate for

prisoners

For example

, Michael

Londler

Correct your spelling

Landler

is one of the cruel

murder

Replace the word

murderers

show examples

in the world. İf we give a lesson or try to educate him it would not be a dulcet idea. He tends to kill

people

. To conclude, there are many ideas which believe

education

would completely change a

prisoner

's life. In my opinion,

Education

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

positively influences a

prisoner

's life and it is a beneficial method.

Submitted by brsson06 on Sun Sep 18 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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STUDIES SHOW THAT CRIME RATE ARE LOWER AMONG THOSE WITH EDUCATION DEGREES. THEREFORE, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE CRIME RATE IS TO EDUCATE CRIMINALS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN PRISON. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a good thing that senior managers have higher salaries than others workers of a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The world of work is changing rapidly and people cannot depend on the same job or same conditions of work for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future.

Some People think that students who achieve the best academic results should be rewarded. Other believe it is more important to reward student who show improvement. Discuss both opinion and views.