Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #adolescents

In the present circumstance,

people

are becoming famous easily compares to the past. Some individuals claim that key

influencers

might affect young

people

's minds as they appear to be luxurious and wealthy. Personally, I go against

this

statement,

this

essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages of celebrity images as well as express the writer's perspective. On the one hand, some famous

people

recently become a bad example for children to follow. . As technology is innovating dramatically,

people

now can access online content more convenient than in the past.

Consequently

, children can encounter

celebrities

that are infamous for their actions.

For example

, children who follow infamous

celebrities

may learn their unjustified thoughts

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and lifestyles as they think it is cool and modern.

Furthermore

, a lot of

influencers

squander a fortune in order to create content.

This

phenomenon,

however

, leads young

people

to have improper thoughts about the value of money.

As a result

, some teenagers will have a tendency to steal money from their parents.

On the other hand

, there are still numerous

celebrities

that create value for the communities.

First

and foremost, key

influencers

can generate and spread optimist energy to everyone.

Therefore

people

who observe them may follow up and enjoy a meaningful day.

Second

, talented

people

can hold awareness programs about problems that they are well-acquainted with to educate

people

on proper

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

In addition

, famous individuals can establish charity funds under their fame and reputation. These fortunes

then

can be utilized to support orphanages, and charity facilities or organizations.

Consequently

, it creates benefits for the communities. In conclusion,

although

there are some individuals who affect adolescents with unjust thoughts and lifestyles, other

influencers

still spread joyful energy to the communities as well as support social advancement.

Therefore

, I believe that the advantages of

celebrities

outweigh the downsides.

Submitted by sadohpv4 on Sun Sep 18 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In digital era, social media is a place that people can make friends with others or gain new information. This writer believes the benefits of the relationship and the convenience in earning the knowledge outweigh the addiction.
4.5
band
Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?
It is generally accepted that in modern society, the number of criminal crimes has been increased a lot in the last time. Some researchers argue that the crimes should be committed after the person comes out from jail. This essay will demonstrate the benefits of why the crimes should be ended and provide several solutions to deal with these problems throughout the following paragraphs.
4
band
You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do.
I am writing a complain regarding noise problem at my house.
6.5
band
nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?
More and more people are having trouble getting the recommended number of hours of quality sleep nowadays. The main cause of the same is the irregular sleeping pattern. However, this can be contained if people become more conscious about their habits just before they go to sleep.
6.5
band
Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers
The 21st century has witnessed a sudden and a consistent surge of criminal offences including physical, social and cybercrime by people, especially by youngsters who are under the age of 18 years. This incidence is not attributed to a particular gender or religion and this is undoubtedly alarming for the social harmony across the globe.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Report research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free. What do you think of this case? What to be done to solve this problem?

You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do.

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers