Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #adolescents

In the present circumstance,

people

are becoming famous easily compares to the past. Some individuals claim that key

influencers

might affect young

people

's minds as they appear to be luxurious and wealthy. Personally, I go against

this

statement,

this

essay will discuss the benefits and disadvantages of celebrity images as well as express the writer's perspective. On the one hand, some famous

people

recently become a bad example for children to follow. . As technology is innovating dramatically,

people

now can access online content more convenient than in the past.

Consequently

, children can encounter

celebrities

that are infamous for their actions.

For example

, children who follow infamous

celebrities

may learn their unjustified thoughts

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and lifestyles as they think it is cool and modern.

Furthermore

, a lot of

influencers

squander a fortune in order to create content.

This

phenomenon,

however

, leads young

people

to have improper thoughts about the value of money.

As a result

, some teenagers will have a tendency to steal money from their parents.

On the other hand

, there are still numerous

celebrities

that create value for the communities.

First

and foremost, key

influencers

can generate and spread optimist energy to everyone.

Therefore

people

who observe them may follow up and enjoy a meaningful day.

Second

, talented

people

can hold awareness programs about problems that they are well-acquainted with to educate

people

on proper

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

In addition

, famous individuals can establish charity funds under their fame and reputation. These fortunes

then

can be utilized to support orphanages, and charity facilities or organizations.

Consequently

, it creates benefits for the communities. In conclusion,

although

there are some individuals who affect adolescents with unjust thoughts and lifestyles, other

influencers

still spread joyful energy to the communities as well as support social advancement.

Therefore

, I believe that the advantages of

celebrities

outweigh the downsides.

Submitted by sadohpv4 on Sun Sep 18 2022

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such as
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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that air travel should be restricted because it causes environment pollution. How far do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.