Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

There is debate about whether patriotism is negative
overall
or has a more positive effect on the community. In
this
essay, both aspects will be discussed to reach a conclusion. On the one hand, having a devotion to one`s country is essential for a nation`s independence, development and union.
Firstly
, independent countries rely on their individuals who support the nation`s culture and vision,
hence
people will have a feeling of where they can belong without hesitation. Second
all
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apply
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,
economical
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economic
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development is crucial for governments,
in
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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it can not be reached without a stable growing population. In order to increase economic growth rapidly,
rule makers
Correct your spelling
rulemakers
should focus on the permanent workload of people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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loyal enough to contribute to their society.
For example
, in Mongolia parliament members made a regulation that encourages women to give birth to more children,
therefore
it will increase the population in the future.
Lastly
, it is important for a nation to have a spiritual mind that unites all indifferences and challenges under one value.
Thus
it makes the country even stronger together.
On the other hand
, patriotism might cause extremes
such
as narcism and discrimination. During human historical
moments
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moments,
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there were a lot of narcissistic minds that never
accepts
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accepted
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any other culture. It will lead to disrespect for others and increase discrimination.
For instance
, during Covid 19 pandemic there were crimes reported against Asians because of intolerance and disrespect. Of ,course it is unacceptable for any kind of violence in our society, so we should discourage extreme one-sided opinions.
To conclude
,
although
patriotism has negative effects like narcism and discrimination, it has a much more positive effect on the community economically and mentally. In my opinion, the advantages of nationalism outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by nsarangua on

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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of patriotism. Support each point with specific examples and relevant details to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a more coherent manner by using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and maintaining consistency in the development of ideas. Ensure that there is a strong connection between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • sense of belonging
  • strengthening societal bonds
  • instills
  • pride and loyalty
  • excessive
  • nationalism
  • intolerance
  • discrimination
  • conflict
  • blind allegiance
  • flawed policies
  • unifying force
  • crisis
  • manipulated
  • political leaders
  • division
  • advocating
  • responsibility
  • civic duty
  • engaged
  • informed citizenship
  • balanced and inclusive
  • cultural diversity
  • marginalize
  • minority groups
  • stifle dissent
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