Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

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There is debate about whether patriotism is negative

overall

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or has a more positive effect on the community. In

this

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essay, both aspects will be discussed to reach a conclusion. On the one hand, having a devotion to one`s country is essential for a nation`s independence, development and union.

Firstly

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, independent countries rely on their individuals who support the nation`s culture and vision,

hence

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people will have a feeling of where they can belong without hesitation. Second

all

Rephrase

apply

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economical

Replace the word

economic

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development is crucial for governments,

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contrast

Add the comma(s)

contrast,

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it can not be reached without a stable growing population. In order to increase economic growth rapidly,

rule makers

Correct your spelling

rulemakers

should focus on the permanent workload of people who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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loyal enough to contribute to their society.

For example

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, in Mongolia parliament members made a regulation that encourages women to give birth to more children,

therefore

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it will increase the population in the future.

Lastly

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, it is important for a nation to have a spiritual mind that unites all indifferences and challenges under one value.

Thus

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it makes the country even stronger together.

On the other hand

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, patriotism might cause extremes

such

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as narcism and discrimination. During human historical

moments

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moments,

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there were a lot of narcissistic minds that never

accepts

Wrong verb form

accepted

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any other culture. It will lead to disrespect for others and increase discrimination.

For instance

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, during Covid 19 pandemic there were crimes reported against Asians because of intolerance and disrespect. Of ,course it is unacceptable for any kind of violence in our society, so we should discourage extreme one-sided opinions.

To conclude

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although

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patriotism has negative effects like narcism and discrimination, it has a much more positive effect on the community economically and mentally. In my opinion, the advantages of nationalism outweigh its disadvantages.

nsaranguaSun Sep 18 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of patriotism. Support each point with specific examples and relevant details to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Organize the essay in a more coherent manner by using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and maintaining consistency in the development of ideas. Ensure that there is a strong connection between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
sense of belonging
strengthening societal bonds
instills
pride and loyalty
excessive
nationalism
intolerance
discrimination
conflict
blind allegiance
flawed policies
unifying force
crisis
manipulated
political leaders
division
advocating
responsibility
civic duty
engaged
informed citizenship
balanced and inclusive
cultural diversity
marginalize
minority groups
stifle dissent

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Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and is the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some places old age is valued, while in othe cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion

The number of internet users around the world has risen from just under two billion in 2010 to over five billion today. That is a rise from around 28% of the global population being online to almost 65%. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?