Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that this is improving our lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some

people

hold the opinion that we are living in an increasingly materialized world, where

people

's wealth determines their success. Contrastingly, some other

people

consider

this

trend as a positive phenomenon that can motivate

people

to make considerable progress.

This

essay

discuss

Change the verb form

discusses

show examples

both views and states why

this

materialism can only benefit societies when it is

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

in moderation. A large number of

people

in the modern world consider the ability

of making

Replace the preposition

to make

show examples

a fortune as an excellent asset.

This

new set of

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

show examples

is clearly reflected in the surveys where children and teenagers have to answer why they are choosing their future

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. An

astonishing

Change the adjective

astonishingly

show examples

large number of them state a materialistic reason for the

persuit

Correct your spelling

pursuit

of their future professions.

This

is while

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the past generations usually had more idealistic purposes when they chose their jobs.

This

shows that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

is emphasizing the importance of being wealthy. That being said, there are some

people

who believe

this

change of values actually serves the societies in a positive way. When there is a desire for making a large amount of money,

people

make bigger efforts to flourish their business, which

at

Change preposition

in

show examples

the end will benefit both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and the individual.

However

, the defenders of

this

movement seem to ignore some important factors.

First

,

a

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society

is well-developed when it grows

balancedly

Correct your spelling

balanced

.

This

is while, the materialistic attitude does not encourage the young to go after more rewarding jobs like teaching or nursing,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

are

poorly-paid

Correct your spelling

poorly paid

show examples

.

Moreover

, how can we ensure that a mindset that

prioritize

Change the verb form

prioritizes

show examples

making money over anything else, will not encourage the young to earn it through illegal means,

such

as drug trafficking? To conclude,

although

earning possession can be an inspiration for

people

to work and bloom

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if it is not accompanied

with

Change preposition

by

show examples

moral values it can leave detrimental effects on

people

and their

society

.