Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is considered by many that government should increase the price of confectionary to decrease its consumption because of its potential
effects
on human well-being. In my ,opinion it will motivate people to focus on their health and they will avoid buying products having high carbohydrate and sugar content. The harmful
effects
of sugar have been known to the world but due to their pleasant taste and unstoppable ,cravings these products are hard to avoid and are the source of many diseases
for example
diabetes, obesity and dental caries.
Firstly
high consumption of sugar and carbohydrates leads to insulin resistance which plays a key role in causing obesity and diabetes. Obesity and diabetes are
syndrome
Change the noun form
syndromes
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which can involve other organs and leads to heart ,kidney,eye and liver damage ,
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
it is the cause of poor dental hygiene and dental caries which eventually leads to tooth loss. These all terrifying
effects
outweigh the pleasant and tempting
effects
of sugary products on health. In order to solve
this
alarming condition,
Correct article usage
the
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state and community should take responsibility to socially aware the population through seminars and social media regarding the harmful
effects
of sugary drinks and food. The state should impose taxes on the confectionary so that people will think about other healthy and cheaper options
for example
plant-based sweetener stevia with zero calories.
In addition
to
this
restaurants and shops should sell water and other flavoured drinks at low prices so that people can switch to healthier options. In conclusion, I agree that government and the community can play a key role by applying taxes on sweet items and by social awareness which can result in better health and economic stability for the population.
Submitted by a.rashidsid93 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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