Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

It is often argued that expanding the number of sports

facilities

is the most appropriate way of improving public

health

. At the same time, others believe that

this

has few positive effects and other

measures

should be taken. Personally, it appears to me that citizens could get advantages from working out at open sports places, but other

measures

also

play an essential role in improving public

health

. On the one hand, prevention is better than cure, that's why building sports

facilities

could improve public

health

by preventing citizens from diseases.

This

makes not only physical but

also

mental

health

better as those places attract many

people

who come and train together.

Moreover

facilities

located in public spaces will inspire residents to exercise. Apart from exercising physically together, citizens may share common things in their life

such

as mutual interests, which bring them closer.

On the other hand

, public

health

can be improved by developing all

health

-related components of lifestyle

such

as environment, education, habit and so in.

For example

, air pollution causes severe diseases. So, to improve public

health

, we need some effective

measures

for protecting and maintaining

atmosphere

Add an article

an atmosphere

the atmosphere

show examples

. Not only pollution but food habits are

also

crucial

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because the habit of junk food causes obesity.

People

need to be educated about the dangers of an unhealthy lifestyle.

This

can be achieved by teaching ethics about

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

so that they can follow

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

throughout their lives. To sum up, even though physical

facilities

should be provided to

people

, because

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise in any form is crucial for maintaining good

health

, I do believe that other

measures

need to be taken in order to bring more mental and physical benefits to

people

Submitted by shpona86 on Sun Sep 18 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Today much of the food people eat get imported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

20.More and more plastic is polluting cities, countrysides and oceans. What are the problems caused by plastic waste? What measures should be taken to solve it?