IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that government should spend money on creating new public buildings such as museum, city halls, rather than renovating the existing ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #buildings #museum #city #halls #ones
Should authorities renovate old infrastructure or pull old
buildings
 down and build new venues? Citizens and elected governments sometimes strongly disagree on
this
 topic and often authorities do a survey before deciding on construction budgets. Older property
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 cities character and can be a huge asset for tourism in an
area
. If you walk around ancient cities like Rome, where a lot of old architecture is retained, you wonder how these
buildings
 were constructed and used. Its unique Roman history shapes the whole city and attracts millions of people from all over the world every day.
On the other hand
, old constructions cost a lot to maintain and are sometimes not as energy-efficient and green as new
buildings
. New
buildings
 can
also
 give a space a fresh look and vibe and
therefore
 open up new opportunities
such
 as investors and hospitality. Cities like Dubai and Singapore are fairly recent and hypermodern. They attract, just like Rome, a lot of tourists but
also
 offer huge investment opportunities for
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
entrepeneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
. I feel that it is hard for governments to decide whether taxes should be invested in retaining historical
buildings
 or go to new constructions. Renovating old property enhances the historical character of the
area
 and can even be a tourist attraction while new
buildings
 can be more economical,
Add a hyphen
energy-efficient
show examples
energy
Correct word choice
and energy
show examples
 efficient and provide new opportunities for the
area
. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 a good equilibrium between characteristic venues and innovation is the key for governments to enhance the growth of the
area
 and keep its tax-payers happy. I love it when old architecture gets preserved and new
buildings
 enhance their features.
Submitted by inekedesmedt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: