Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public healthand that other measure are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

It is argued that some societies believe that adding amenities to

sport

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sports

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is the ultimate approach to

Use synonyms

increase

Wrong verb form

increasing

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public well-being. But,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, other

people

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say that

this

Linking Words

way has less effect on

people

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's fit.

Thus

Linking Words

, it needs another standard. In my opinion, increasing

sports

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facilities

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should be aligned with other strategies to escalate society's healthiness.

Body · 1

In terms of

fitness

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facilities

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, it is believed as one of the best ways to urge

community

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the community

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to improve their health through exercise. When public

sports

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are added as a public facility with affordable prices or even free, it will trigger

people

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to do physical

act

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activity

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regularly without hesitation.

For example

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, the local government can open a free jogging track which will push the neighbourhood warmhearted to do physical activity.

However

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, is it the optimal approach to

increase

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public

fitness

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? In my opinion, adding

sports

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should be balanced with other improvements,

such

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as healthy food and wellness.

Body · 2

Different from that, there is a view that

sports

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facilities

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have little effect on

people

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's health. It makes sense since a man with excellent physical training regularly yet smoking will not obtain optimum

fitness

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Furthermore

Linking Words

fitness

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should be aligned with other improvements

such

Linking Words

as healthy food, a good environment, and wellness habits.

Thus

Linking Words

, albeit needing effort, simultaneously will

increase

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healthiness optimally. I am in line with

this

Linking Words

balance to obtain optimum wellness.

Conclusion

In conclusion, public

fitness

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can be increased by adding

sports

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amenities.

However

Linking Words

, another perspective is that

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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facilities

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improvement is inadequate; there are other ways to obtain that goal.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I consider that balancing both ways:

sports

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facilities

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and aligning them with other modifications

Remove the comma

apply

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will be the best measure to

increase

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public health.

afirahma

Sep 19, 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Many young people are motivated and successful at high school. Many others , however, lack motivation and see high school as irrelevant to their interests and needs. Why is this? What could be done to help all students succeed?

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