IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #duty #citizens #diet #responsibility
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the variety of
air
Use synonyms
pullutants'
Correct your spelling
pollutants
pollutant
 sources in Grand Britain, namely industry,
transport
Use synonyms
 and household, from 1990 to 2005, in
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Overall, it is clear that the highest
air
Use synonyms
 pollutant belonged to
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 section
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period, with a slight
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 over the following
Correct your spelling
fifteen
fiftheen
Correct your spelling
fifteen
 years, the total amount of
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants, meanwhile, decreased in the consecutive years. From 1990 to 2002, it can be seen that while all the figures declined,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
's figure fluctuated in these years, and at
last
Linking Words
, increased to around 2.5
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the decreasing rate of
indusrty
Correct your spelling
industry
 section was much more than
housholdes
Correct your spelling
households
 source; whereas, dropped from around 6 to 2
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, equalling with
transport
Use synonyms
 section at end of
this
Linking Words
 period. From 2002 onwards, the figures for transportation continued to surge, and reached the peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rest of the other
air
Use synonyms
 pollution sources dropped to 2 and 0 for
indusrty
Correct your spelling
industry
 and households respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 pollutants surged, the total amount of
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants fell in
this
Linking Words
 particular country, between 1990 and 2005.
Submitted by alihamzeh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: