IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this , but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

#people #countries #periods #time #job #study #face #difficulties
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered that everyone can find more opportunities overseas, in
this
Linking Words
 way the number
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 moving to other countries is
uplifting
Add an article
an uplifting
the uplifting
show examples
 day in and day out. In the following pARAGRAPHS I will discuss both sides, provide my own opinion and find pros and cons. On the one hand, while students stay in another country, they are developing their level of thinking and
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more open-minded. They are trying to combine study and work,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they get new habits
such
Linking Words
 as creating an excellent
time table
Correct your spelling
timetable
show examples
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 their critical thinking. Well-known personalities
such
Linking Words
 as
Ilon
Correct your spelling
Elon
 Mask and Steve Jobs experienced poor
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 conditions ,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 they easily find ways to solve problems as well as they own illustrious companies. It is believed that people become industrious and quick-witted
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they are left with problems.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it may lead to new ideas and openings in several spheres. Alikhan Mukhamedali(owner of "6inch" company,
for example
Linking Words
, was inspired by new ideas in South Korea, where street food was highly valued.
Thus
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of ways to become the best version of yourself abroad.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is risky to live alone until you go to your country.According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent studies, about 69% of individuals are suffering from feeling
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lonely and
homesickness
Replace the word
homesick
show examples
 overseas. They do not find any
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 in their life,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it looks
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
monotonous and life without bright
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
. It leads to bad habits,
such
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 smoking, narco addictions and mental issues.
Hence
Linking Words
, leaving overseas has several consequences and
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. By the way of conclusion, I would like to clarify my opinion that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 of staying abroad outweigh its cons.We should be aware of all consequences until we move there as well as
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 prepared for new opportunities and challenges in
Correct your spelling
a new
show examples
anew
Correct your spelling
a new
show examples
 place.
Submitted by anurmakhankyzy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: