IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some cultures, children are often toldthat they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of given children this message?

#cultures #children #toldthat #message
There has been a continuous debate on whether it's possible for a country to have a powerful
economy
 and a clean
environment
 at the same time. In my opinion,
this
 goal is achievable and I shall explain both views and give my reasons for my own point of view. To commence with, there are many
countries
 that
besides
 having a clean
environment
, have a strong
economy
.
For instance
, Canada is one of those
countries
 that has made
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge progress by utilizing renewable
energy
 in its factories
instead
 of other sources of
energy
 that damage the
environment
 like fossil fuels. Another example would be the replacement of gasoline engine cars with electronic cars, which has been made possible due to the advancements that have been made in technology in recent decades.
on the other hand
, in
countries
 like Qatar that are not technologically developed in comparison with European
countries
, there hasn't been any movement towards using eco-friendly products and are usually dependent on their oil, which is primarily used in their factories and
as a result
, the air pollution is quite high in these
countries
.
However
, even in
countries
 where conditions for usage of renewable
energy
 are not available, the government could concentrate more on other sources to develop its
economy
 like tourism, and agriculture
instead
 of being solely dependent on fossil fuels like gasoline or oil. In conclusion, a strong
economy
 and a clean
environment
 are not
in contrast
 with each other, because technology has a great impact on the usage of eco-friendly products and renewable
energy
, which are available in many
countries
.
Submitted by n1ma.mohammadi1376 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: