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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time. Reason and examples....

#people #children #time #school #work #reason
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It is argued, that
children
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 have too much leisure
time
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, which they often waste.
Therefore
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, it is believed that
this
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time
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 should be used
instead
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 to do more
school
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 work. I am strongly in favour of
this
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 narrative.
Firstly
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, waste of
time
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 is so widespread,
therefore
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, we can mention
this
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 as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
relevant trouble. As a consequence,
children
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 spend their
time
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 on long walks,
social
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on social
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 networks,
games
Correct word choice
and games
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. It
is negatively influence
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is negatively influenced
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on
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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child
Change noun form
child's
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 development, for the reason that
in
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at
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this
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 age kids get knowledge like a sponge,
however
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, they invest it
on
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in
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 unuseful activities and entertainment.
Secondly
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, if they do not make studying a habit from childhood, they will suffer from laziness in high
school
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 and adult life. Since we are known, that principes come from
young
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a young
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 age. Laziness in adult life causes unemployment, depression and more global problems.
For instance
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, Elon Musk
work
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works
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 hard from his elementary
school
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. Indeed, in that period of
time
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, parents play the most obvious role. From them
depend
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ondepend
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 future of their child.
Thirdly
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, if
children
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 devote
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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time
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for
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to
show examples
school
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, they will not suffer from mental diseases, since they do everything in
time
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 and spend plenty of
time
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 on learning. To conclude,
i
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I
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 would like to reiterate, that
children
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 should invest their
time
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for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 homework,
studying
Correct word choice
and studying
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, if they want to be successful and hard-working personalities.
Submitted by milyyy.aaa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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