More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Presently,the
internet
display of personal data like
address
Fix the agreement mistake
addresses
show examples
and mobile phone numbers for the purpose of online financial transactions and socialization has
being
Change the verb form
been
show examples
on the rise. Wealth generation is an important benefit of
this
trend
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
the surge in the rate of
cyber crime
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
show examples
since
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
onset cannot be overlooked. I believe that
this
trend
has more good impacts.
Hence
,
this
essay will discuss
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
pros and cons in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
with,
funds
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fund
show examples
generation is an essential benefit of
this
occurrence. It has become easy for clients to reach out to their vendors on calls because their contact numbers were made accessible to the public thereby enabling sales and transactions to be made.
For example
, buying and selling of goods
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become faster since phone numbers are made visible on the
internet
thus
calls could easily be made with the seller and with the display of bank details,payment is no longer a
Correct your spelling
challenge
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
thereby more money is raised.
In addition
, the time of response to emergency situations has become shorter because the individuals are easily contacted in cases of occurrence of bad events.To illustrate, the fire service group are easily called on cell phones in situations
such
as fire incident.
This
enables the early arrival to the scene and quick stoppage of the incident.
Thus
the good effects of
this
trend
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
enormous.
However
,
this
trend
has led to a rise in the occurrence of cyber crimes.
This
is because of the easy access to personal data
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
internet
fraudsters
utilises
Change the verb form
utilise
show examples
to hack into the accounts of their targets.
For instance
, the knowledge of a person's account number
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
it possible for the
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
money to be stolen
thus
leaving the
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
bankrupt. To conclude, I think that the
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
of the
trend
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
of great
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
since it allows people to make money and even enables
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quick emergency response.
Nevertheless
,the surge in
internet
fraud is worrisome.
Thus
, the government should regulate the way
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
show examples
personal details are being assessed.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal information
  • Online privacy
  • Security concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Convenient access
  • Social networks
  • Banking purposes
  • Positive development
  • Negative impact
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