the charts below give information about levels of education in glascow,a city in scotland , in 2010
THE
BARCHART
AND PIE CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PERCENTAGE OF Correct your spelling
BAR CHART
PEOPLE
IN A CITY OF SCOTLAND PERSUING
Correct your spelling
PURSUING
EDUCATION
PER LEVEL (UNIVERSITY
, SCHOOL AND THOSE WITH NO QUALIFICATIONS) IN 2010. THE INFORMATIONS
RECORDED IN THE CHARTS WERE ACCUMULATED FROM FIVE DIFFERENT RANGE OF Change the wording
INFORMATION
PIECES OF INFORMATION
AGE
GROUPS
IN BAR
CHART AND BY GENDER IN PIE CHART.
Correct article usage
THE BAR
OVERALL
, THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE
PERSUING
Correct your spelling
PURSUING
UNIVERSITY
EDUCATION
IN YOUNGER GROUPS
WERE
ACCOUNTED Unnecessary verb
apply
IN
Change preposition
FOR
MAJORITY
Correct article usage
THE MAJORITY
WHILE
COMPARED TO THE OLDER GROUPS
WHO DID NOT HOLD ANY QUALIFICATIONS. THOSE WITH THE PROPORTIONS OF MEN AND WOMEN WERE SIMILAR AND SHOWED LITTLE AMOUNT OF DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEVELS OF EDUCATION
.
THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE
WITH UNIVERSITY
Correct article usage
A UNIVERSITY
EDUCATION
WAS UPTO
76% IN THE YOUNGER THREE Correct your spelling
UP TO
AGE
GROUPS
COMPARED TO ONLY 50% IN 50
-75 RANGE OF Correct article usage
THE 50
AGE
AND UPTO
25% IN Correct your spelling
UP TO
GROUPS
ABOVE 75 YEARS OF AGE
.WHILE
THE FIGURE FOR THOSE WITH SCHOOL CERTIFICATE WERE
RELATIVELY CONSTANT AT AROUND 20% BUT WAS AS LOW AS 3% IN THE OVER 75’S, A REVERSE TREND WAS NOTICED IN Change the verb form
WAS
PEOPLE
WITHOUT ANY QUALIFICATION – 9% IN YOUNGER AGE
GROUPS
RISING TO 72% IN OLDER GROUPS
THE PROPORTIONS OF MEN AND WOMEN IN EACH LEVEL OF EDUCATION
WAS AROUND ONE-THIRD WITH A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE OF 3% IN UNIVERSITY
GRADUATES AS WELL AS
THOSE WITHOUT ANY EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION.Submitted by sany22ys on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, education, university, age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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