some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.why is this case?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Smartphones are the most popular devices used by people all over the world.It 's user-friendly and easy to handle For all ages.Nowadays, it gives us new facilities than previous and
internet
& phone connect the communities together.Correct article usage
the internet
Moreover
, people spend a lot of time in front of their phones and some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. This
technological device spread quickly.Such
as many heirs around the globe own at least one phone. In my opinion, this
is a negative development.The following paragraph highlights my opinion with relevant examples.
Firstly
, if offspring waste more time on their phones.They haven't
enough date for their education and they have missed their responsibilities. The main reason for Rephrase
have
this
case is modern offspring haven't a close relationship with others They prefer to live alone and don't like working together.Alternatively, kids are not active these days.Then
they have missed a chance to build new relationships.It causes addiction to technological devices.It directly negative effect on the future.
For example
,according to
recent research conducted by the university
of ,Capitalize word
University
Colombo
they said most under 18 do not prefer to build relationships and they Add a comma
Colombo,
addict
to devices.Add a missing verb
are addict
Secondly
,Most of the parents in the cities are always busy with their work and they have no time to spend their day talking with heirs
.I personally think parents should be good listeners to their kids.It avoids spending more on the device and avoids looking at unusual thinking like an adult-only thing or harmful games.
Correct pronoun usage
their heirs
To sum up
, a quarter-half of the world's kids spend every second on their smartphones and it trend these days.The main cause of this
situation is heirs do not prefer to build up
relationships with others and they suffer from loneliness.It defines badly affects future efficiency. personally, I think that it is a negative development and quickly spread all over the worldChange preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement and that your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion. Additionally, organize your ideas in a logical manner with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure to fully respond to the prompt by presenting a balanced view on the topic. Provide more specific examples and develop your ideas further to improve the completeness and clarity of your response.