Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

It
is commonly believe
Change the verb form
is commonly believed
show examples
that
art
plays
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
show examples
role in society and learning
art
at
school
major impact on their studies. I completely agree that
school
administration should implement
art
education
at
school
because
this
would motivate their career achievements. To commence with,
art
is different parts of combination because it contained various subjects
such
as painting, dancing, music and theatre. The reason is that
art
is a more important subject academically and
art
would help to improve
students
' critical thinking. Because artwork involves observing the world around them, examining, analysing and considering numerous details
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
up the foundation of critical thinking.
As a result
,
students
' mental power significantly increase
in addition
student can learn everything quickly and efficiently.
For instance
, according to a study, by the university of Oxford, pupils who study
art
learn new lessons 50% faster than others who did not.
Thus
, learning
art
increase the knowledge power of
students
.
Furthermore
, another advantage of learning
art
is that it would help to attain mental level because of
competitive
Correct article usage
the competitive
show examples
education
environment
students
felt exhausted. Studying
art
through helps to reduce pressure on difficult subjects.
For example
, research shows, that two hours of exposure to
art
a week can result in mental health improvement. And
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side creative activities feel amusement and attain
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
mood. That's why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is
Add an article
a
the
show examples
beneficial major aspect of student
education
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
art
education
should establish in
school
because it's advantageous for
students
' knowledge improvement and can reduce main subject pressure.
Submitted by Sasha on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Motor skills
  • Creativity
  • Perspectives
  • Emotional outlet
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Global awareness
  • Historical art movements
  • Spatial intelligence
  • Curriculum overload
  • Non-competitive
  • Exposure
  • Cross-disciplinary benefits
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