Some people believe using modern technology (digital photographs, blogs) is the best way to record and remember important personal events. Others think the traditional method (making photo albums, writing diaries) is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is hard to deny that traditional
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
,
such
as,making photo albums and writing diaries lock up more significance. to illustrate, since those items are made in person, they are equipped with personal characteristics.
However
,
such
a statement
suffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
show examples
from both logical and factual fallacies ,and it should be examined meticulously.As far as economy 、social communication and globalization are concerned ,I strongly hold that the digital version does have its edges
especially
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,especially
show examples
for those users who desire to
share
memories with others.
This
is mainly because modern technology
have
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has
show examples
brought much convenience to satisfy their demands.
First
and foremost ,nowadays, more and more people are
internet
natives, and they want a platform which can
share
their daily life and gain a sense of identity.To be more specific ,recording people’s daily life on the
Internet
have
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has
show examples
become a way of socializing, and if you want to integrate well into modern society, well participation in
Internet
socializing is very necessary .
Furthermore
,taking full advantage of the colossal storage capacity and the fast travelling speed on the
Internet
, netizens can not only recall their memories whenever they want but
also
share
their digital albums and blogs on social media, which facilitates them to win a large number of ‘hearts’ and followers and
thus
enhance their sense of self-esteem. At the same time ,
activity
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the activity
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level of online social can
also
reverse
development
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the development
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of the national economy feeding ,As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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calculated by the China
Internet
Information Center ,as of June of
this
year,the size of China's
Internet
users is 1.051 billion, and the
Internet
penetration rate reaches 74.4%.The emerging economic model of social e-commerce is booming
development
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in development
show examples
.
Internet
celebrity
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celebrities
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can sell
goods
through their own net flow and popularity.
Last
E-Commerce Promotion Day,It
selling
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sold
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up to $20 billion in
goods
through
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
network
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networks
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.Social sales take up 60%
share
of total e-commerce sales.
netizen
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netizens
show examples
can sell
goods
by sharing
goods
.The
Internet
gives the general public more open and free opportunities to earn more income ,
Also
increased the tax
to
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on
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the country.
this
phenomenon increases the diversity of the national economic system.and more revenue is added to the GDP of China. Some
individual
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individuals
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
claim
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claims
show examples
that it is not safe to
share
private information on the
internet
,which can compromise privacy and cause unnecessary property. Ironically,
This
is really an objective situation,But
such
cases are so rare that we cannot deny them generalize from one side to the other.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
such
problems can be avoided via setting access codes.
Therefore
, modern technology
have
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has
show examples
bringing
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brought
show examples
many benefits rather than
record
Replace the word
recording
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people’s life.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end,each coin has two sides,depending on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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personal consideration.But.from my point of view ,I must say there are many benefits to documenting our lives in a modern way.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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