IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is a problem which is being talked up by some with improving machinery, the gap between rich people and poor folks will be increased. One of the biggest reasons is that poor individuals
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb could. Consider changing it.

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 buy new models because technological assets improve
fastly
Correct your spelling
fast

The word fastly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 day by day, but other people believe that automation can compound both poor and rich populations. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement because both sides have justified thinking. Both of these viewpoints will be outlined in detail before concluding with my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, most societies can not earn enough money to buy technological appliances in many countries.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 everybody wants to have a new iPhone, any person who has no money can not buy that.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 rich societies use new applications for their high-quality phone, poor societies can not. and
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the range between rich and poor classes is increased.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, improving technology prevents discrimination between populations. Because everybody is the same on the internet.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the past few, days Justin Bieber
-a
Correct your spelling
a

The word -a doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 renowned singer-sang a song in the metaverse. Normally, if the metaverse didn't exist the public who are dying to watch him have to give money.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 there is no difference between poor and rich. In my opinion, hi-tech provides many various opportunities for all humans and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 gratis.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the range of technology currently available may be looked at negatively by
few
Correct article usage
a few

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 individuals because of the increasing gap between the poor and the rich individuals but actually, it has many different benefits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and develops it fully. Use topic sentences and supporting details to create a clear and organized structure.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the essay prompt. Provide more details and examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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