Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Why it is thought

Change preposition

apply

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certain individuals that sporting activities that

have

Verb problem

involve

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danger

involved

Verb problem

apply

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should be abandoned I

also

Linking Words

endorse the aforementioned statement

while

Linking Words

others believe they should have the freedom to make their own

choice

Fix the agreement mistake

choices

show examples

. Both sides will be discussed in the essay below with relevant examples.

To begin

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with, a ban should be imposed on the sports that are dangerous as when people try their hands on these movements, they might not be aware of the threat involved;

hence

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, making themselves land in dilemmas that might be harmful to their lives.

For example

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while

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performing scuba diving, if the pressure below the

sea-bed

Correct your spelling

sea bed

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increases and the person is not able to withstand that

then

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, he/she may fall into the situation of bends

along with

Linking Words

some respiratory issues.

Moreover

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, there are times when all cautious measures are taken to avoid any mishappenings but uncertain circumstances

such

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as bad weather or sudden currents in the water during a water sport can bring worse conditions of breathlessness, increased heart rate, and much more in the above cases.

However

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, it is felt by a few individuals that they should have the freedom to decide on the sporting exercise that they want to perform as various personalities believe in trying things out of their zone of comfort and bestowing themselves the chance to challenge themselves.

For instance

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, one acquaintance of mine wished to fly in a hot air balloon from a slanted cliff of a mountain which was considered unsafe but he wanted to test himself and experience it. Notwithstanding

this

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trend, I think these difficult sporty tasks should be prohibited. In a nutshell, howbeit, In my and some humans' point, vehement sporting actions should be stopped by regulating them as they might be risky to the life of many individuals,

nevertheless

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, others opine that they should be free to make their own choice as they are the best evaluators of what they wish to try in their lives.

mosumi431985

Sep 21, 2022

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay addresses both views on the topic but lacks depth and clarity. The arguments are not well-developed and the examples provided are not fully relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion. However, the supporting points are not well connected, and the progression of ideas is unclear at times.

Lexical Resource

Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. More precise and varied vocabulary is needed to enhance the quality of expression.

Grammatical Range

Grammatical Range: The essay shows a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word choice. More attention to grammatical accuracy is required.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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