IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Fo many people the reason they work hard is to earn money . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#fo #people #reason #work #money
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It is an undeniable fact that in
this
Linking Words
 modern world
people
Use synonyms
work
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 hard and most
people
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 believe that to get earn more
money
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 is the main reason . I partly agree with the given statement and the reasons for my inclination are articulated in the upcoming paragraph .
To begin
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 with ,
money
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 plays a significant role in everyone's life .Nowadays,
people
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work
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 hard in their field ,not because of
money
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 but
they
Correct word choice
because they
show examples
 can get qualitative life .
For example
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, many companies give rewards in terms of home , a car and education of children of employers.
Thus
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 ,
people
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 are encouraged to
work
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 hard in their job. It is
also
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 debatable that rewards are
also
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 important in the field of
work
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 as they improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence in employers. On the other side, there are many reasons why
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
work
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 hard on jobs. Some
people
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 ,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have passion for their job and they always try to give their best in the
work
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 as they feel satisfied and confident with tasks they complete successfully . Another reason to support my ideology is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many
people
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work
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 hard for promotion
also
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 and that
also
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 leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better professional life . As well
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, many of them believe that in
this
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 era of cut-throat competition the best performance stands as the epitome. In conclusion , many
people
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work
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 hard due to several reasons . I partly agree with the given point that
money
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 is an important factor in the level of working hard and
also
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 believe that self-confidence and passion
also
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 require for the betterment of growth .
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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