Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?
It is commonly believed that sporting exercises have an essential part in our
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
as well as
helping to improve the health of the body. Some sections of society think that play involves force like wrestling and fighting and combative arts should be prohibited. However
, I express my disagreement with this
thinking by forming my own opinion while
discussing the same consideration of the people in the following article.
First of all, I support so many force sports because of the challenging moments that's
come up. Verb problem
that have
In other words
, the
sport that includes force makes us aware of our limitations in doing something and gives us a chance to test our mental and physical strength. Nowadays the young generation gets a positive influence from athletics and tends to participate in them. For, example World Wrestling Entertainment is an American federation that has made a name for itself in wrestling, with wrestlers from all over the world using their strength to become champions and raise the profile of their country. Many youngsters get affected and devote their lives to the gymnasium to make themself wrestlers, Correct article usage
a
consequently
entering the arena of this
federation and earning a lot of wealth and fame with their performances.
Moreover
, the second advantage of fighting play is that women get much training for their defense
. With thorough knowledge of the techniques found in so many competitions, Change the spelling
defence
for example
, boxing, women and young literate girls can protect themselves from tragic events including eve-teasing and molestation. Therefore
, by learning competitions like this
, a woman living in every part of the world can protect herself and keep herself safe.
Lastly
, I fully agree with the promotion of this
type of sport, keeping in mind the benefits of the above article in its entirety, because incorporating these contests into our lives gives us the courage and something to do, there should not be any restriction on playing these daring sports.Submitted by mosumi431985 on
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task response
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to directly state your stance. This helps the reader understand your position right from the beginning.
task response
While your main points are relevant, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be smoother. Consider using transition phrases to link paragraphs and maintain a logical flow of ideas.
task response
Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant examples to support your ideas. This shows a good understanding of the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point, which helps in maintaining coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your stance, which is essential for a cohesive essay.